1. Recently I said this: “Mac, in the future, when you ‘dress’ Georgia, please actually put clean clothes on her rather than just layer clean ones over the dirty ones. Kthanks.”
2. True story, ladies.
3. We went to a fair in Sonoma County – a small town fair. I ate part of a funnel cake and wanted to die. However, I got an excellent idea for how I’m going to make my millions: open up a traveling rehab that follows fairs, for the benefit of the tweaker carnies.
4. I know, I’m a thinker. And something of a humanitarian, clearly.
5. Speaking of brilliance, sometimes, when I’m playing Scrabble against my phone [whilst bored outta my mind], and my phone wins, I play again to show him who’s boss. I am also not joking about that.
6. While at the fair, we watched this juggling/comedy/guitar-playing show (um I said it was small town) and they asked for a volunteer. Of course Ava’s hand shot up like lightning and of course they called her up. They asked her to step between the juggling, um, pins (?) when they tell her to, and started teasing her, making all kinds of jokes about getting hurt, etc. The woman at one point said “Well, don’t worry about it, Ava, since they say one person’s pain is another person’s pleasure.” And Ava looks right at her and says “Um what. Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Perfect delivery. Everybody roared, and I was struck by the poise of that kid, cracking jokes up on stage in front of at least 100 people, at 10 years old. She’s something I tell ya.
7. Georgia has been eating most of her meals standing on a chair at the kitchen island. No worries though, we totally don’t let her use a fork.
8.  After Ava burped in an incredibly appalling manner, I commented to Mac that it’s like our kids were raised by wolves. Rocket then stops what he’s doing, gets a far-away look in his eye and says “wow, that would be so wonderful.”
9. So it’s comforting to know my kid would prefer ravenous wild animals over Mac and me.
10. Also, do any of you guys ever attempt side conversations in the front seat of your vehicle with the kids in the back? You know, when you lean in to one another and say something inappropriate for little people, thinking maybe, perhaps THIS TIME FOR ONCE they won’t catch it with those demon bat ears? Yeah, we do that. It’s never worked successfully once. Ever. More on that later.

Also, wanted to tell you people how much I love you and send big cyber kisses your way. (wow. That was cheesy.) No really, thanks for sharing my Valentine’s post. I got like 2,000 hits on it that day, which is a big deal for a no-name blogger such as myself. I was flattered. Thank you.

Here’s Ava up on stage…please excuse the crap quality. I don’t have Instagram to fix my photographic deficiencies. Or even an Iphone. So anyway. [Okay but seriously, Instagram is amazing. It makes good photos look freaking spectacular and crap photos look, well, almost cool. I’m getting an Iphone one of these days, so my crap photos can look less crappy and more hipster.]

Have a great week.