I think mothers need a no-bullshit friendship manifesto.
That way, we can go into new relationships knowing we’re in agreement on a few critical factors, thereby avoiding the awkward situation in which you realize one person is into drama and the other isn’t. I’m never into the drama. I think I’m too old. Or tired. Or there’s just so many more interesting things to think about.
Like Michael Scott from The Office, for example. What’s more interesting than him?
You know what’s amazing? Friends who aren’t into drama.
I actually don’t have any of the other variety. I think I either scare them away or I run away. One can never be sure.
However, I often hear about mothers getting on other mothers’ cases for perfectly reasonable mother-behavior like being a fucking flake. And I’m baffled.
It ain’t right!
This aggression will not stand, man.
As if we don’t have enough to deal with. As if kids and domestic life partners and jobs and uteri aren’t enough of a damn problem, some people think “You didn’t call me back in a timely manner so now I’m mad at you” is a logical addition to the list. We can’t do that to each other. We just can’t.
So behold, the No-Bullshit, No-Drama Friendship Manifesto:
- I will not get on your case for not texting me back in a timely manner.
- I will not get on your case for not calling me back in a timely manner.
- This is because I will soon be the one not calling and texting you back in a timely manner.
- If you tell me you’re going to call me back “in a few minutes” I understand I may not hear from you for 3 days.
- I know this is not because you don’t love me.
- If I need you for real, I will harangue and harass you until you acknowledge me. This process includes, but is not limited to: calling, texting and emailing (repeatedly), instant messaging, tweeting, tagging on Instagram, showing up on doorsteps, actually leaving voicemails (!) and/or contacting spouses.
- This will not annoy you because you know you’re a fucking flake.
- This will not annoy me because I know I’m a fucking flake.
- If you don’t RSVP to my kid’s birthday party for 3 weeks then call the morning of the event and say “Uh, yeah, um, sorry, but can we come?” I’m not going to express profound irritation through a suppressed sigh and deep pause, rather I’m gonna be like “Yeah that’s cool, but do you have any candles? I forgot the effing candles.”
- And I’m going to be happy you came, because we’re friends.
- When my kids are acting like shitheads and you’re like “Hey child, No.” I won’t get all righteously indignant. Instead I’ll look at you in gratefulness for dealing with the little bastards so I don’t have to.
- When you get pissed at your husband, I will agree he is the most sorry d-bag to ever walk the planet and we shall plan for the day when we live on an all-female commune with organic produce, llamas and wool spinning-wheels. And redwood trees. And the ocean.
- Even if you’re clearly the asshole.
- When you swear in front of my kids I won’t care. Because obviously.
- The dinners you make uniformly blow my mind.
- Whoever has the youngest (or worst behaving child) at the moment gets to make decisions. We all understand that children are often foul, insane little creatures and it needn’t even be mentioned that we DON’T BLAME YOU.
- Maybe your house is clean. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe who gives a rat’s ass?
- When I say something stupid that could be conveyed as insulting or whatever, you’re not going to get all overly sensitive and weird, calling mutual friends and psycho-analyzing what, exactly, my problem is (probably going back to childhood), rather you’re going to call me out on it and then I’m going to apologize and we’re going to move on, LIKE ADULTS, because occasionally adults say stupid shit, the end.
- When you say something stupid, I’ll either do number 18 or, and I know this is revolutionary, I’LL LET IT GO.
- We tell each other the truth (except the asshole part when fighting with domestic life partners).
- When my jeans are sagging, you’re going to lovingly take me shopping. Or you’re going to not notice. These are the only two options.
- The only time I’m going to one-up you is to prove I’ve screwed up worse than the time you’re currently feeling terribly about.
- I will not give helpful parenting advice. You will not give helpful parenting advice. WE ALL HATE THE MOM WITH HELPFUL PARENTING ADVICE.
- I understand that “on time” means “not as late as I usually am.”
- When our conversation gets interrupted nineteen hundred and forty seven times by one kid or another and that thing I was going to say that was so funny and interesting is forgotten entirely, I won’t get hurt feelings.
- When I borrow a baby item, don’t return it, then, 2 years later, when you ask for it back and I’m like “Yeah I don’t think we have that anymore,” you’re like “oh okay” but then, 4 months later, when I find it in a bin in my garage, you’re like “It’s cool.”
- Because we’re both fucking flakes, except when it matters.
And we’ll know when it matters, because WE ARE FRIENDS.
And when it matters, we show up no matter what with whole heart, or fist, ready to build or struggle or soothe. Ready to hold or make or remake, maybe for the hundredth time.
We show up with tears and sweat and annoying kids and food, laughter and some yelling, a cracked voice and a steady ear.
Because we are friends.
We let go of the bullshit and just love. And if there isn’t love, we let go of the charade and find some real friends.
Because really, what the hell else is there? Just a bunch of humans bumbling along.
This week, my ass was saved by one of these friends. There’s something spectacular about this, all of it, the no-bullshit friendship.
The soft place and rock. When it matters.
Shrek BFFs
Kim
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 16:49Dude. That totally made me tear up. Not that I’m tryin to be full of drama.
Anjelica Rachela Tringas
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 1:40I woke up at 3:33 this morning and found this. Thank me, I needed this today. 😉
Claire
Thursday, 4 September, 2014 at 4:50This was one of the most accurate things I’ve ever read! I was nodding my head enthusiastically with every line. Then I sent it to my best friend. Three days later she replied, laughing at the fact that it took her 3 days to remember to read the article! Thanks!
Monica
Sunday, 15 May, 2016 at 19:42Me too! Gosh. #7 and #21
itzybellababy
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 16:59Is there like a store where I can go buy one of these? I literally have no friends to go do stuff with and have this relationship. Everyone has failed on several points.
It is my own fault for not wanting to deal with other people’s BS. I know, I know..
Valerie
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 7:35I hear ya! Why can’t we all be straight shooters? Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Ilona
Sunday, 25 May, 2014 at 6:26I will gladly be your friend. And you don’t have to buy me. Just I know I drop the f bomb a lot. It is so I don’t beat my children. They know they have gone to far when that comes out of my mouth.
Maryhen
Friday, 24 June, 2016 at 19:16Me too! I lost a very best friend exactly for some of the reasons in this post! Now I have no close friends and wanted to know if there is a special store to go and get me one of these!! )-:
Alison
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:12Hell, yes. Can we be friends?
Kelly
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:17Amen, sister! Just what I needed to hear 12 days into bronchitis that won’t go away without a trip to the doctor that I can’t afford that’s caused me to fall off the face of the functioning world annnnnnd everyone is wondering where I am, but not enough to actually call.
Tasj
Friday, 13 June, 2014 at 4:16oh, honey! 🙁 noone’s called you? that’s ridiculous. You need better people, man. <3
Corinne Knight
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:20Only have a few of these but they make me breath! Thanks again Momma, you know I love ya!
Rachel
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:36BAHAHA Especially 9, 11, 18, 19 – oh heck I love all of it.
AND THAT PICTURE.
Rachel
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:37PS. I just noticed your comment policy. I really shouldn’t read your site when I have pregnant lady bladder issues.
Judy
Friday, 6 June, 2014 at 8:24Or, like me when you have kids-are-older-premenopausal lady bladder issues!
Shelby
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:45Preach it, sister, esp #18. The drama queens or extremely insecure/touchy ones don’t last long ’cause I won’t cater to them.
Laurel
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:51“And if there isn’t love, we let go of the charade and find some real friends.” Been there, done THAT.
Stephanie
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 17:56I think people with not enough kids have these problems. The solution is their having more kids. When people give me crap, I simply say, “I have three kids. This is the best I can do right now.” Like it or lump it. (I always wanted to say that. What does ot even mean?!)
Cris
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 4:29I think you may be breaking a “no bullshit” rule of friendship with your judgement of moms with not enough kids. Most of my friends match the above list and have either one kid or no kids at all.
Foxy Wine Pocket
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 18:12Holy shit, yes! I’m going to save a lot of time by just handing this out in advance.
Sara
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 19:24I totally needed that one today… Thank you!
Rosa
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 19:27F*ck yeah! We have 4 children, this = no BS, no drama-mamas, oh and no co-dependent joy-stealers… just no.
melissa
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 7:50haha! LOVE the term co-dependent joy-stealers. I’ve dropped many of those over the years. 🙂
SauvBlancMom
Thursday, 15 May, 2014 at 19:59This is amazing!!!
MomtoThree
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 0:26Love.
Lizzie
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 0:32This was great! X x
Mandy
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 4:42Had one of these friends for 15 years – until her husband took a dislike to my mother and she backed him up. Its now been 19 months since I’ve spoken to her and I feel the loss still. She never even met my son. I’m slowly building more friendships like this but man, I really needed to read this. Thank you!
Mags
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 14:02Think back and you probably put up with more than you should have from your friend. But all is not lost. Speak up.
ChrisK
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 10:52Mandy, you got this all wrong. Your 15-year friend HAD to back up her husband…for gawd sakes, she has to live with him…she has a family to preserve! You should have understood how much it sucked for her to be stuck in the middle. Mandy, YOU were the drama-mama here. Now you get to watch her walk off into the sunset with her family in-tact, while you wallow in anger and loss.
PS – I was once you…but I learned my lesson. With love…I hope the same for you…
Dana
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 15:27Um. No.
Now if a friend of fifteen years takes a dislike to MY mother, I’m gonna be all like “yeah, I know exactly where you’re coming from,” since my mother has been nothing but dysfunctional and sometimes downright mean since day one.
But Mandy hasn’t said HER mother is like that.
If I had a GOOD mother, I’d pick her over a fair-weather friend who disses my mama. Any. Damn. Day.
And if that’s how YOU friend? BACKING UP your husband when he trash-talks your friends OR their mothers? Yeah, I don’t think I’d go to you for friendship advice. Ever.
2in3years
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 14:39Um, both ladies have it wrong! Call her! She still loves you too. It’s ok he doesn’t like your mom. Who cares if he does or doesn’t? Let it go. It’s ok if the friend doesn’t back up her spouse or back up you in this situation, she’s a grown up after all. Maybe next time, she won’t takes sides. But it happened. Let it go. Call her, go see her, move forward. She probably wants to see you too. Losing a friend over her husband’s opinion of your mom is ridiculous. So you had a fight, forgive and move on. Call her!
LisaC
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 5:52Whew, that is a phenomenal manifesto.
Martia
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 5:53Can I be your friend?
RachRiot
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 6:30YES. THIS. This pretty much needs to be handed out to all girls once they reach the fourth grade.
Amy
Thursday, 11 June, 2015 at 17:51OMG honestly. I teach middle school and those kids. Honestly.
Valerie
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 7:40Could you please add,”No pussy footing around or Sugar Coating if you have a problem with me?” Just say what you mean and quit worrying about hurting my feelings.
Cera
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 6:22Hell to the fuck yeah! I hate sugar coated bullshit! Just fucking say what’s pissing you off before one of our stupid kids interrupts again!!
Dana
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 15:29If it were me, I’d want someone to tell me they have a problem with me sooner rather than later, but I’d like them to say it in a manner that indicates they respect me as a human being.
Unless I do something really out-there boneheaded, in which case if you’re kind of standing there shocked, stunned, and swearing, that’s a whole ‘nother matter. Just as long as your definition of “boneheaded” and my definition of “boneheaded” mostly match.
Anyway, I hate people who talk like assholes and then claim it’s because they’re “being honest.” Telling the truth, or at least your truth, is being honest. Being an asshole is just being an asshole.
Frankie Painter
Sunday, 28 June, 2015 at 20:51Definitely no sugar coating… I’m a fat kid, so if you sugar coat something, I’ll probably just eat it and ask “ok, that’s gone. Now yell me what’s REALLY bothering you…”
😉
SummerLily
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 7:49Yep. You nailed it!!
Renee
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 7:49Great post!!!! I have a friend like this. She has saved my ass several times during the years. This week during one of my “crabby and depressed” periods, flowers showed up at work from her to just “cheer me up”! We don’t have to talk everyday, hell sometimes weeks go by but when we do get together, it is like we were never apart. We have been births, deaths, marriages and divorces;you know all the biggies. We always say that we are going to build a duplex when we retire; one side for us and one side for our husbands. It will just be better that way!
Kristen Daukas
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 8:11Please sign here. My BFF and I refer to that as “I’d move a body for you” friends. Love if.
Amy
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 10:18Maybe that’s why most of my friends have older or grown children. The moms with younger children don’t seem to get #s 1-27, and think *I* am the problem because I don’t conform to their perfect standards. Whatever! I’m too busy with four males – three sons and a husband – to deal with their drama too.
Diana
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 12:26You and me, we can hang.
Casey Wise
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 12:56Great post. I was having a pretty rough day until I read, thank you for smithing these words together.
Kathy
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 13:44Great post!! My “no drama” friend and I also have a rule that we DO NOT write each other thank you cards for Christmas or party gifts, or any other thing that society deems necessary. I say thank you to her face, she acknowledges it, we save a tree. We save the thank you cards for the people who would get bent out of shape if they didn’t get one.
Gracelyn
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 15:09Can I get this on a t-shirt?
rani
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 15:57Damn, this rocked!
Lorraine
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 16:41I had a friend like this (who I still have today) when I was raising my three boys. Her name is Susan.
Renee
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 17:43If I’m not mistaken you are my Aunt and I found you in cyberspace. How weird is that!?
Heather
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 16:51This is the best, then end.
Jill Douglas
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 18:41First, that was awesome… made me laugh because it’s totally true. And second, I love that you can write fuck in your blog and make it sound… right. Sometimes, I’d really like to but then I get all worried about offending some of the people who read it (because it is pretty much just read by my friends and family and I have some very religious in-laws) so, I really like reading it in others’ posts. So, fuck yeah!
Jill
P.S. I will be reading your blog from now on 🙂
renwa
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 19:05Lol, bitches get all butt-hurt.
Laura
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 19:17I’ve been a mom less than a month but already feel like I totally get this. Love it!
Kim
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 19:41Dude. I’m kind of in love with you. This is so full of win and reading it made my week better. You’re wonderful – well played.
Dee
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 20:15This is how I am, take it or leave it, love it or hate it I am who I am and I say what I think, you don’t have to like it but if you want an honest opinion I’m the one to get it from, I’ll tell you if your being a bitch or if that top looks terrible on you. Not because I am trying to be mean it’s because I love you, so don’t wear the top that does nothing for you, let pick a top that makes you look amazing, and yeah you were being a bit of a bitch but you know what? you had a right to it, : or apologize and let it go no biggie.
I don’t know I just don’t care about the drama and I gave up caring what other people think a long time ago, I sleep better now. And I have one friend like this and I’m so lucky to have that, it’s worth more than a million fake friends.
Julia
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 20:24since you cursed first, I will freely say that this is fan-fucking-tastic! LOVE. THIS. I wonder if it will be weird if I carry around a pile of these printed out, and hand them out like birthday party invites? 🙂
angie
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 10:18You made me truly laugh out loud!
Jennifer
Friday, 16 May, 2014 at 23:19I am picking up what you are laying down.
Jennifer messer
Thursday, 4 February, 2016 at 11:28I don’t understand why this girl hates me so much.
Aravinda
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 4:30Perhaps you should have added one more, that when I say something in a humorous vein, you don’t come back in all sincerity with a serious question. But since you didn’t, I would like to ask about some of the points, specifically 18 & 20.
To reach the stage of friendship where one can overlook so many things (e.g. 18) and certainly where one can be honest (19) and even more when one is free to express real needs (6), takes time and during that time, in the stage where we are getting acquainted and becoming friends, how does one handle those situations?
At what point does one conclude that the other person hasn’t called back not because they were a flake but because they simply did not care to continue the friendship? And how does one interact with them later? I am 100% with you on no-drama, and I would simply say hello and expect nothing more.
If you are in an intermediate stage of friendship and (18) arises, then how do you share your feelings with the other person? While I agree fully with you on (19), can one count on everyone to do so? How do you decide whether to be honest (20) and risk losing the potential friend-to-be? While I would like to side with honesty, as someone who has not had an easy time making friends I find myself pausing.
Laura
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 21:25There is no intermediate friendship, you are friends unless you are not, that’s the point. Friends always find their way to reach each others lives, no matter how much time has passed or the circumstances then, now, or in between. And when they do they are honest.
shannon
Thursday, 19 May, 2016 at 4:30You either haven’t met the right women, or you are expecting more of them than necessary to meet the above standards. Trust me when I say, time or years do not matter. I have a select few friends who have been so my whole life and they meet all these requirements and more. But, I also have a few who fall somewhere between 3 years and 6 mos of friendship and they too, from day one, fit all these requirements and more. You just know that friend when they cross your path, period! So, be yourself, be what you want out of a friend from day one and you will quickly begin to naturally draw similar kinds of women into your circle as well. We all know where we fit in and tend to gravitate towards it…be the kind of woman you want to be around, be comfortable being her, and suddenly you will find you are not alone.
Kim
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 5:58I love this. Who has time for the drama?
Wombat Central
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 6:30You seriously need a friend sign-up sheet. And possibly you need to move to my town. Like, right now. I’ll totally bake you a pie.
ev
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 8:32and single/widowed/almost divorced moms with 2 angel children get a little XXtra love when i can’t show up or take part in the volunteer work, can’t feed the hungry, can’t sign up for a class trip, need to use gift cards instead of credit cards and sometimes just need to stay home…..
Jym
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 9:24Fathers need this too 🙂
Amy
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 9:37This is so great.
My friends and I are all going bananas over this post on Facebook because it articulates so many of the tenants we live by. Others include:
*If you bring me a meal or present when I have a new baby or a death in the family, I will say thank you, and you will say “You’re welcome. Now do not write me a thank you note.”
*If you are invited to my house for dinner, we will always have pizza delivered, and you will act like you haven’t had pizza in years and are thrilled to eat it.
*No one has showered, so don’t worry about it, just come anyway.
*If it’s the third snow day in a row, you’re all coming to my house, and there will be wine before 5:00.
Anyway, well done.
Melissa
Wednesday, 8 April, 2015 at 6:03Yes! Except the wine part – that happens on the first snow day 🙂
Tia
Thursday, 21 May, 2015 at 18:47mmmm wine on snow days 🙂
Leah
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 10:24you’ve really outdone yourself! this rocks!!
Robin
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 10:38Great rules that should be applied long past the empty nest. My girlfriends and I used most of these same rules way back when my boys were small. Most of the rules still apply to me and my best friends. I’ve found that Motherhood and Menopause aren’t that far apart.
Colleen
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 11:32THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. ONE-THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES THIS.
I live by this manifesto as do my mom friends — otherwise, we wouldn’t be friends. Thank you for putting it all into words. You’re awesome.
Tara Livesay
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 11:46This is fabulous. Flakes EVERYWHERE, with real lives and real problems, thank you.
Renee
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 17:46No drama mama’s are the best. You rock. My no-bullshit friend sent me a link. I’m delighted she did! Thank you for sharing. 🙂
nic pre
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 20:26My only question is, why is this a manifesto for moms? Childless people deserve no bullshit no drama friendships too! Just sayin 🙂
Dana
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 15:33Because it’s a fucking mother blog. Jesus Christ.
…Sorry. I can understand seeing comments like this on blogs having nothing to do with parenting, but complaining like this on a parenting blog just… I dunno… I got nuthing.
Brittany Marsh
Saturday, 17 May, 2014 at 20:37This! Love this so much
HappinessSavouredHot
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 8:09This post makes me feel very grateful. None of my friends is high drama. All of them are down to earth, uncomplicated, authentic and fun. Yeah! 🙂
Lynn Buchanan
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 10:44OH MY GOSH, MARIA!! I’m in front of the seafood counter at Gisnt and tears are running down my face. It’s brilliant. Flat out. Was I that friend? That made me cry even harder. I’m so blessed to have you in my life and heart, not only for the NO BULLSHIT, DRAMA-FREE friendship you give me but because I have the Gift of loving someone else so much that all my energy goes into shining light into their hearts, as much as I can. That I’m shown that I’m capable of that much love. Now I’m gonna end this post so th man buying trout quit looking at me as I type and wipe. Away the tears of Joy. Thank you Great Spirit. And thank you Maria. You’re an amazing writer
Leah
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 11:53I love this SO much. Just perfection.
Randy
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 11:57I don’t understand why some women seem to think that the way forward is to mimic the worst attributes of men — lots of four letter words. Men need examples of how to behave and express themselves, not women mimicking and thereby validating poor behaviour.
Dana
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 15:34You don’t need a dick in order to fucking swear.
I’ve heard some of the foulest language you can imagine from people who never uttered one swear word in the process. It’s not how you’re saying something, it’s WHAT you’re saying.
PR is for liars and assholes who don’t want you to know they’re lying assholes.
matrix
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 18:31you are fucking hilarious….in an awesome bitchin kind of way. great blog!
Louise
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 19:40Love it. Just sent it to my 4 besties.
Paige
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 20:06Fantastic article! I needed this today while I’m in the middle of dealing with a “friend ” that seems to love drama and looks for it around every corner. Amen!
Deb
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 6:39This is genius. I wish I’d written it. The added bonus of a stealth Big Lebowski quote took it to another level entirely. Love! <3
Lisa
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 6:44You also forgot that once you’re done complaining about what a douchebag asshole your husband is and forgive him for whatever stupid thing he’s done, I will then agree that he’s a great catch and not continue to call him a douchebag asshole and therefore insult your choice of spouse.
Karen
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 14:49Hilarious!!! And oh so true!!!
Kellie
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 7:45Could be really good friend if it weren’t for an other friend throwing wedges in between us!!
Erin
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 8:45Did we just become best friends? YEP. Wanna go do karate in the garage? YEP.
I love you. That is all.
angie
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 10:14You rock! This made my day – especially after losing a friend to hyper-drama – I had to walk away — this made me smile and know I made the right choice.
Thank you!
Bianca
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 14:36did we lose the same friends? Sounds like something I went through! We’re the stronger ones for sure.
Shannon
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 10:27Word Up, sister!
This is so true –> “I’ll look at you in gratefulness for dealing with the little bastards so I don’t have to”
It’s just like that African proverb, “It takes a village to raise these little bastards”
Shawna
Thursday, 21 May, 2015 at 15:34Bahahhaahah! Is THAT what the Proverb is? I couldn’t quite remember the exact quote. 😉
Rochelle
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 11:53Good God Yes.
DR
Monday, 19 May, 2014 at 12:06Got bored after #1.
Heather
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 3:59Fuck. Yeah.
Claire
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 5:09Just discovered your blog, it is all kinds of awesome. I have just moved to a new country with my 3yo and wobbling around trying to make new friends here. The no-drama friendship manifesto is gold and makes me miss my old ones like fire, but also reminds me what to look for! 🙂 Cheers x
Danielle (Imperfect mom of 3)
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 6:57If I knew you, we would totally be friends. My closest friend forwarded this to me and all I could think was… “Did WE write this?” Thanks for the laugh:D
jennifer groeber
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 8:03Just, yes. (I’d write more, but the kids keep yanking on my shirt and grabbing my hands off the keyboard and begging for milky. Good to know you’ll understand!)
Another Mother
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 8:22Beautiful. And if you don’t mind, I’m going to have to share this. 🙂
Kara
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 8:36I fucking love you!!! Nailed, why yes, my dear Watson. She nailed it. Sweet blessing to you and your family!
cynthia
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 11:30Can you also please stay friends with your girlfriends who have no kids. It really sucks when y’all disappear. I tried to have kids. 3 late-term miscarriages and then 6 rounds of failed IVF. None of my girlfriends had kids when all that happened. But over the past 10 years, every single one, every single one, disappeared once they had a child. Really sucks.
virg0matic
Tuesday, 27 May, 2014 at 10:50the one without the children has to drive the effort to keep up. I know it’s hard. just how it is.
Shawn
Tuesday, 3 June, 2014 at 21:58As the parent who disappeared, please call your parent friends! They want to talk to you. They want to see you. They think about it regularly, but every time they do, something new happens to grab their attention and they forget by the time the crisis is over. And then they fall asleep, hard, because parenthood is exhausting beyond belief. They will be so grateful. Honest.
Cin
Sunday, 7 June, 2015 at 14:22I agree! I really feel for you! I hope you can tell your friends how you feel. I was the kid-less friend repeatedly asking my friends to let me join them and their kids wherever, their house, a park, a splash pad, etc. We even had the summers off, I love kids (former nanny) and they rarely wanted to get together or invite me to birthday parties, often at their houses no less. I didn’t get it! As a mom, I still don’t. Then, they wanted to get together. I still reach out to all my friends (with or without kids) and invite them to our parties. I ask them if they want to meet alone or not. I don’t assume they wouldn’t want to be there, and I don’t get upset if they don’t come. Friends are friends!
Bianca
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 14:36OH MY GOSH! FINALLY! Someone who gets it! Especially #18. I had the opposite of 18 done to me last year. Lost a bunch of “friends” thanks to the drama. You get it! If I knew you I’d give you a hi five & a hug!
Lynda M Otvos
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 14:49ok. this is the real deal here. you have hit it right in the kisser. Pow !~!
What happened to the days when we could (gently) correct other kids for obvious wrongs and not get our asses chewed by their righteous parental units. Shit, man, I was trying to help !~!
Beth
Tuesday, 20 May, 2014 at 16:37This is amazing. Thank you for putting into words my whole philosophy of friendship. I don’t even have children, but I could repeat this word for word replacing “kids” and “children” with “work” or “pets”.
SistaTV
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 5:03YAASSSS GAWD! Ex-ce-FUCKING-Lent.
Dad
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 8:55So…you want to be men? Because from my vantage point, it’s way easier to be a dad. We don’t get caught up in ALL of this, nay, ANY of this stupid shit.
Point 2# The first person to say “I don’t like/want/need/believe in drama” is usually THE PERSON CAUSING IT.
Melissa LLanas
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 9:18Lol! Love the Big Lebowski reference (I actually used the very same line this morning). I am a working mother of 4; I barely have time to fold our never-ending mound of laundry, let alone drama queens. I had a one-up mommy/drama queen in my life once. ONCE. I didn’t have time for that bullsh*t, what with being in NICU for two months with my 31 weeker, and trying to figure all that out on top of life, so I 86’d that toxic relationship. “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
This list you’ve compiled is awesome, as well as highly accurate; you should win a major award for it. Maybe a leg lamp or something. I believe I shall post this list on the fridge for my husband and I to follow, too, as exhaustion lends to quibbles with some of the things on the list (though VERY few; we’ve learned to retire to our own corners when we turn into mega-bitches due to lack of rest). I can also point to it when other moms come over and violate the rules.
High five to you!
JD @ Honest Mom
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 17:08I love it that one of my closest friends – a non-blogger – discovered this and shared it with me. I’m a new fan and reading all the things on your blog now.
Miranda @ Sweet Mother of Blog
Wednesday, 21 May, 2014 at 20:09A friend sent this link to a bunch of our girlfriends. Simultaneously made me tear up and laugh out loud. So damn true and too often forgotten as the hormones often rally to outdo logic and basic, grounded priorities. Great post. M
nici
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 4:49So real, so right, so fuckin’ beautiful. Made me weepy with gratitude for the women in my life who embody this sort of friendship. It lets me BREATHE. I see you have a number of people who want to hang with you now. Add me to the list. .. But if I don’t hear from you. …I won’t get whiny. Promise.
Lisa
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 5:42While I despise drama, and think we all need to be more mature and be more forgiving, I feel like this article just gives you permission to be a crappy friend. You are saying I have way more important things in my life than trying to be a good friend, so if I really need you or you really need me we will try and be there. Otherwise I am just going to be a crappy friend and ask you to excuse my behavior and chalk it up to being a mom. I am a mom but I would like to think I am a good friend as well.
Cin
Sunday, 7 June, 2015 at 14:28She said sometimes she is flakey, so I think she just forgets things. To me there is a difference between someone who doesn’t care or try to a good friend and someone who is flakey and trying to hold down the fort and then some. Not everyone juggles things well in their lives, even when they are really trying to….
Kristen Thompson-Riley
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 5:55Love, love, and love! The end.
Clarissa
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 6:37Thanks for writing this. I keep thinking I should write like this, and never get started. I officially stopped having drama-friends after mine wrote me a three-page email about how she couldn’t be my friend anymore because she didn’t have time. Okay, great.
Wallydraigle
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 8:38I had a friendship like this as a kid (obviously, without the children and husband and the texting and whatnot). We went our separate ways after high school and live across the country from each other now. But I’ve been craving that kind of friendship ever since. I just thought it was something adults didn’t really do, and it was kind of lonely, but not awfully so until I had my first kid.
Then we moved far, far away from my hometown, and I discovered not one, not two, but THREE women who more or less fit this list, and it is amazing. I’m not sure they’ll ever understand how grateful I am for them. I was so desperate for friendship, any friendship–even just a middling acuaintance–, and I got far, far more than that. I sent this to the one I’m closest to, and her reply back almost made me cry (I don’t cry). There are very few things as precious to me as these friendships.
Nicole
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 9:30I am so lucky to have a friend like this…now we have it in writing! You rock! And my students had no idea what I was laughing about or why I had to text her right away to tell her I emailed her something (she’s in the same building, no less – and it’s my 8th graders’ last day, so no, we weren’t doing anything).
Faye Upton
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 10:24Wow this is an insight as to why I don’t have any friends. We don’t have a lot of money, so my kids can only invire a couple kids to their parties and I need to know if they can come or not. We have to find somebody else if one can’t come. Once, no one showed for my daughter, even after they said they would. It’s good for you you’re not annoyed, but my daughter’s heart hurt and that pissed me off. And if you understood how it feels to raise kids in poverty, you wouldn’t like the idea of a trailer playdate. And yeh, I’m a dick.
Alternative Thought
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 11:16Here’s a quick alternative thought. It is my opinion that it is absolutely NOT okay to be a “flake”, and embracing it like a positive quality is simply allowing yourself to feel better about laziness. You can be busy. You can be distracted. You’re allowed to make mistakes, learn from them, move on. All in an effort to not be a ‘flake’ in life. For these issues, friends & family & other moms need to be there for each other and support / understand without just dismissing your issues as being a flake. And granted there are several quality points in theory in this “manifesto” that would otherwise ease Mom vs Mom drama. But if you’ve got time to read & write, and share blogs containing 27 must read “Rules” while surfing Facebook with your abundant free time, with comments like “OMG YES, MUST READ”, you’ve got time to send back a text message, or RSVP to a birthday. Being a good friend, family member, person involves overall courtesy to one another, not building in excuses. It is a step in the wrong direction.
FLMom
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 13:05Ehhhhhxcept that checking FB doesn’t require me to think about anyone else for a moment. Which is ALL I DO ALL DAY! So, yeah. Sometimes we need a break. It does not mean that I don’t love my friends. Just need a minute to check out. But, this difference in opinion is why we wouldn’t be friends. And why I am sure you must have missed the one about not giving advice. And why I am sure you are a much better mother/partner/daughter/friend and everything else than I am.
Lisa
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 19:27ALTERNATE THOUGHT – I couldn’t not agree with you more. Being ok with being “flaky” really just means you care more about yourself than you do about others.
Cin
Sunday, 7 June, 2015 at 14:41Why can’t being flakey, just mean being flakey? Why does that mean someone cares more about herself than others? I am not a flakey person, but I have met enough of them as a teacher to think that they aren’t necessarily selfish people. I am all about manners too, but compassion, understanding, and open-mindedness go a long way in relationships. Not everyone can handle the same characteristics, but I think the judgement is really unfortunate.
Jenny Pyykonen
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 13:43This. Is. The. Shit.
The. Right On. Real. Shit!
THANK YOU!
Jenny
April
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 17:57Found you because P!nk tweeted your blog. 🙂 Glad she did. Amen to no-drama everything! These little people give us more than enough of that on a daily basis.
Growing up, I had more male friends than female ones for the same reason. Then the girly girls gave me more drama because I was hanging out with the guys and that didn’t sit well with them, too, blahblahblah.
Kristina
Thursday, 22 May, 2014 at 19:20Carpet pissers, dude.
WONDERwtfWOMAN
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 1:53YES! I am so sharing this with my flakey ass friends…who are always there when I need them 🙂
bdoodles
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 7:47One of my favorite people in the whole wide world is that to me, I mourn the fact that I had to move away from the awesomeness that is our friendship for my husband’s job, but by phone and on fb, we are still there for each other. Her 5 and my 4 together were a big, happy, creative, messy, obnoxious bunch! It is very hard to find those friends that you can be with no matter what, that accept you to the core of your being, who you are allowed to be stripped of all pride in front of and they love you even more for it. Thank you for putting this into words in a way that only people that have had this kind of relationship can understand. <3
Noelle
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 10:02This is the best thing I have ever read. I laughed. I cried! I high fived..myself.
Awesome post!
Alison
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 10:52Whistle, whistle, BIG giant standing ovation!! FANTASTIC article. Thank you!!!
Serina
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 11:30Thank you for this article. LOVE IT! I have come across some very pretentious Moms over the last 12 yrs. Thankfully during this journey, I have also encountered Moms that are just trying to do their best to survive..lol! These are the ones I collected! I can count them on one hand. My relationship with each one of them has a different dynamic. Which is fantastic in and of itself. I don’t care if I haven’t talked to or seen one of them in 2months (won’t happen, but…) I could call or we could hang out & it would be like I just saw them yesterday. True Gems that you need to recognize when you meet them!!! P.S. There is at least one thing on this list that I need to separately bring up to each one of them..LOL! We aren’t perfect .. just progress 🙂 Thanks again!!!
Lala
Friday, 23 May, 2014 at 15:45We let go of the bullshit and just love. And if there isn’t love, we let go of the charade and find some real friends.
I recently had to let go of a mom friend or was she? She made me feel like she was doing me a favor by being my friend. She was 13 years younger than I am so I always said that as an excuse for her until I got sick of it. She will eventually get over herself.
Sarah
Saturday, 24 May, 2014 at 3:30Well written! I would share it, except there is too much cursing (Pentecostal Christian family/friends. I found out the day after my graduation that my sister in law/best friend called CPS because she thought that my husband and I needed parenting help.. we knew we weren’t doing the best that we wanted to, but we were stretched on both time and money. Nursing school + parenting + low income jobs will do that to you. That’s not an issue now, but my “no-bs” friend is no longer a friend because I learned that I can’t trust her. Lesson… Be careful who you trust. Sometimes friends who you THINK understand what you are going to are secretly writing up a list of things that YOU do wrong and you will hear that list repeated to you (convoluted, probably) from a CPS worker on your living room couch.
John E. Keats
Monday, 26 May, 2014 at 8:04Is an Alternative Thought an alternative thought when it stomps on real alternative thought? Shouldn’t Alternative be pretty fond of . . . the Renegade? Is the Cure still alternative after “Friday I’m in Love”? Whoa, got a little off track . . .
Cate Pedersen
Monday, 26 May, 2014 at 15:39YAH! Be a MOMMA, not a MOTHER!
leroy
Monday, 26 May, 2014 at 23:06You have some good points. But isnt agreeing with your girlfriend,even if shes wrong, a cop out.Im a bloke, and the best way to create drama is to support someone whos wrong.A decent (drama free) friend,should be able to cop it.
Kathy Roberts
Wednesday, 28 May, 2014 at 2:12I have a different perspective. I am 53. Have 5 children and come from a generation where NONE of those things would have to be said.
Listen. Before you put me in the “June Cleaver” category, let me remind you I lived throughout he Drugs, Sex and Rock and Roll era, OK?
The thing is, we may have been all free love and crazy, but we were raised in a generation where family mattered, home was important, and way more important than careers and a social life.
It was NEVER acceptable to have a ball game on a Sunday! That was for family, it was for rest. There was no practices at dinner time. ALL families ate dinner together, even the really disfunctional families did.
There are NO standards anymore. No absolutes.
Home has been put on the bottom of the list, began in the 80’s and now we are all trying to have families, and marriages and relationships without any foundation for it all. The game has changed, but life remains the same.
Begin now, educating your friends. If they are treating you like you are still single and childless, talk to them. They don’t have a clue. And set the standard for how you want YOUR LIFE to be, then live it 🙂 It can happen.
Fern
Tuesday, 17 May, 2016 at 3:51I took a screen shot of your comment. You’re right about there being no standards. I am thankful to have this kind of friendship with one friend, but we can excuse each other when we flake out precisely because it doesn’t happen very often so we know something is up when it does. But as for everything else having gone crazy, with practices at dinnertime, games on Sunday, insane amounts of school stuff, etc., I am with you and I’m going to start backing out of it.
MamaSarah
Wednesday, 28 May, 2014 at 19:59Please don’t ever take this down!
Sandra Young
Thursday, 29 May, 2014 at 11:57Boy O Boy does that sound like our friendship.. I am the flakiest flake I know I know. But you know I love ya girl..
Crystal
Friday, 30 May, 2014 at 15:12Yes to all of this.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you for reminding me how much I love and how grateful I am to have women in my life that all of the above pertains to.
nbm
Friday, 30 May, 2014 at 20:32My ‘best friend’ of more than 20 years stopped talking to me because I told her that when I found out that she had lied to me about something, it had hurt my feelings. She. Stopped. Talking. To. Me. This, after we had been through deaths, marriages, children being born, divorces…Wish that I had this manifesto long ago. And truer friends. I hope that I do now.
jen
Sunday, 1 June, 2014 at 9:23AMEN!!!
Lily Mae
Monday, 2 June, 2014 at 15:04YES THIS IS THE BEST THIS IS IT YES YES!
Mark
Wednesday, 4 June, 2014 at 12:10Awesome post…Thoughts that we have had at one time or another–accept that no one can give them life like you can!!
Sounds like we would get along just fine.
All the best,
M.
Jenny @ The Brick Castle
Thursday, 5 June, 2014 at 9:41Nice. Life gets in the way of pretty much every good intention – but when the shit hits, we’ll be there with the alcohol and the bosom to lean on.
Jennette
Thursday, 5 June, 2014 at 12:37I thought but man you said it best!
mjsee
Thursday, 12 June, 2014 at 14:55Where were you (*mumbles ridiculously large number*) years ago when I was a mom with a pair of wild-ass boys? We’d have been good pals.
Natasha Batsford
Thursday, 12 June, 2014 at 18:03Awesome!!
I’d like to add one to the list though …
28. When I share “news” about my offspring, we will both understand that I am not making a comment on your method of parenting, I am simply celebrating a wonderful moment in my own life. No subtext, no drama.
vina
Thursday, 12 June, 2014 at 18:46I wish i have one like that!!!
Andrea
Friday, 13 June, 2014 at 9:13This may very well be the best thing I’ve ever read about mothers and friendships EVER. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are my people.
Mahwash
Saturday, 14 June, 2014 at 2:32Oh how I wish I could have written this myself. Absolute gem. Love it, love every word of it.
K
Tuesday, 17 June, 2014 at 17:33I am a working mom who can agree with this post, but at what point does one move from being a flake to being a bad friend?
Shell
Wednesday, 18 June, 2014 at 6:50I have that question too, K. I have a no drama policy too and I accept and expect a certain amount of flakiness because life happens. But perhaps because I am not all that flakey myself, I also enjoy a certain amount of non-flakiness in close friends. I enjoy spending time with people who value my friendship and time and trouble as much as I value theirs. At a certain point, super flaky people are just too high on the narcissistic asshole scale for me to deal with. I think the difference between a narcissistic asshole and someone whose flakiness I can deal with is whether the person is genuinely sorry about their flakiness or not. Having kids doesn’t give you a pass to be an unapologetic flake. You don’t have to go over the top with apologies, just a simple, “I’m sorry” is all that is needed in almost all cases. No drama, just basic consideration and kindness.
Kristen
Sunday, 22 June, 2014 at 21:23Thank-You! Unapologetic flakes seem to be all I know these days. Those with and without kids. I’m a single parent and if I say I will be somewhere, I will 99% of the time be there. On time. And if I have to bail, I give plenty of notice, so while other people’s flakiness doesn’t necessarily make me angry, I can’t really relate to it. A simple apology usually suffices.
Marisa
Tuesday, 15 July, 2014 at 14:48Girl, you are a brilliant writer. Very moving.
Jadranka Šcelovic
Thursday, 17 July, 2014 at 11:15I admire you, and keep up your blog, but I’d like if I had a translation.
BatMom
Friday, 15 August, 2014 at 1:04I love this. I have yet to meet anyone who would agree with this post in its entirety, like I do.
Kudos.
Dawn
Tuesday, 30 December, 2014 at 13:33I am LOVING your blog! I like how you just call it like you see it, no exceptions, no excuses, no filter! We really do need more of this in the world. Being a woman is hard work. Being married is hard work. Being a parent is hard work. Being a bitch to each other is just wrong!
I, Dawn Reber, do hereby sign this No Bullshit, No Drama Friendship Manifesto!!!
Kaz @ Melting Moments
Friday, 27 February, 2015 at 2:14Amen sister!!
Kate Love
Wednesday, 18 March, 2015 at 10:46Numbers 18 & 19 are my FAVORITE. Yes.
If I’m being an asshole in a domestic partnership disagreement I would want my friends to tell me because sometimes I’m not seeing clearly because human. I do have friends who’ve told me as much and it’s helped my relationship grow.
But that’s just me. I’m maybe a little weird like that.
This morning I have a friend coming over – a friend coming to my disaster of a home. I’ve come *this close to canceling. I mean, seriously, it’s the end of the quarter and I haven’t cleaned in weeks, shit is piled everywhere, last week we found mice in the kitchen and I haven’t got that room put back together, I have no food to offer her and no desire to find the interest or energy… but she is a friend and we’ve missed hanging out because school/life/health stuff.
Hopefully she won’t get lost in a pile of papers 😛
Amy @ PK
Wednesday, 20 May, 2015 at 20:00I absolutely LOVE this! and I am with you I HATE drama, always.
Thank you for this.
Amanda
Thursday, 21 May, 2015 at 9:12Bloody love this, it should be printed out and handed to new parents as they leave hospital with their new baby!
Ally Messed Up Mum
Friday, 22 May, 2015 at 11:50This is me and my best mate all over, so true! You need a friend like this in your life, can’t be doing with highly strung friends!
Your post was added to the #sundaysharefest, I hope you add your fave post of the week by another blogger this Sunday! x
Joann Woolley
Saturday, 23 May, 2015 at 10:15Funny as hell…. well, hell is not funny so why is that a saying? I don’t know but it made me smile, then laugh, then spit out my wine because obviously haha!
Atomic Mom
Tuesday, 26 May, 2015 at 18:07I just shared this and promptly lost a “friend”. To that I say: Mission accomplished!
Elle
Monday, 1 June, 2015 at 18:40No one exists like this. No one. That’s the reason I gave up on friends of any type, there than the casual hi at church, school, swim team, pool, etc. Because this type of friendship does not exist.
renegademama
Wednesday, 3 June, 2015 at 9:58I have 2 or 3 friends like this. I wrote this about them. But I agree they’re rare, and when found better be held like gold.
Cali the expat
Wednesday, 16 December, 2015 at 19:11I found your blog this morning Janelle, I’ve been reading it all day. I have declared Wednesday’s as a “Cali day”, I do what ever the fuck I want to do. Your writing is excellent, it’s like you’re speaking exactly what I’m thinking. We need to be friends, I live close to sac. You mentioned a conference; a fucking superb idea. I’m a US citizen, but grew up in NZ, I’m a stranger living in a strange land. I live in a tiny town and have a few friends here, my real sisters are spread all over the world. I’m recently divorced – five years, he’s a fucker and there was no hope. I’m a single, dirt poor mother, and bad ass survivor of serious emotional spousal abuse. My child is beautiful, precocious, stubborn, and she’s my heart and soul. I got my bachelor’s in political science fucking decades ago, it’s not so fucking handy here. So I’ve done my nursing pre reqs, took me 5 years. Waiting to get into nursing school, substitute teaching on the side. You speak to my heart. Let’s get in touch! I don’t do sprinkles, nor pta meetings. My MIL threw me a baby shower against my will, but I made out with some cool booty, so I won’t hold it against her. And I took that shit home, she wanted it to stay at her house. I divorced her too. Anyway, I think we’d have fun talking shit.
Marie Elena
Thursday, 4 June, 2015 at 17:40This is GOLD. Thank you!
Christina
Friday, 5 June, 2015 at 11:51Oh my god. Will you be my friend? This is the kind of no drama friendship I’ve been looking for all my life!!!! Why can’t all women be like this? We have enough crap on our plates. No more bullshit!!
Jenny Jenny
Monday, 8 June, 2015 at 14:18I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS.
You nailed it!!
I think we might be separated at birth.
Thanks for the perfect manifesto!
Dawn
Wednesday, 10 June, 2015 at 19:05nailed it! Thank goodness someone had sense enough to put this out there! I totally needed this !
Rach
Sunday, 21 June, 2015 at 9:11I effed in the presence of “The Chair Of The PTA Committee” I laughed it off, saying I had Tourettes (Which I thought was hilarious, but no-one laughed)
I really need friends like this.
I AM a friend like this 🙂
Pamela
Friday, 26 June, 2015 at 13:10Where was this when mine were little, because this is the way I lived my mom years, unfortunately, most others didn’t play this way. I still have a couple of fabulous friends from those years and I cherish them as much as family. Others lost their shit over stupid stuff… their gone.
Kate
Wednesday, 1 July, 2015 at 20:26This makes me want to go hug my friends! 🙂
Anonymous. PLEASE READ HELP
Wednesday, 8 July, 2015 at 8:06PLEASE READ: My mom has trouble making friends. She is somewhat reclusive and she’ll say she wants to go out, but when she comes home, she likes to stay in. She has had a bad line of crappy friends who use her or always expect her to pay or ask to borrow or just for her to do in general and never do in return. Kind of the same with guys! She’s 55, but is by no means old… She is young and spunky and stylish! She loves vintage things, and we’re in Kansas City, Mo. She just wants someone that understands her and the is a true friend that doesn’t take advantage of her! I need help on suggestions! She deserves to have friends and not be depressed. She works so hard.
Anonymous. PLEASE READ HELP
Wednesday, 8 July, 2015 at 8:07I need advice.
Elizabeth Sargent
Wednesday, 29 July, 2015 at 9:47Awesome
Emily
Tuesday, 3 November, 2015 at 19:02Why can’t there be more mums like you in my neighbourhood? My little guy is only 10 weeks old, and three mothers groups later it’s doing my head in to find low maintenance friends. I’m a good friend and pretty laid bak, watever suits. But I am not a yes man. Telling people how it is has lost me friendships. I only have five very good female friends from high school, in another state. So my search for friends closeby continues.
kim
Tuesday, 12 January, 2016 at 16:54This is just the best article! I’ve seen it so many times and i still read it from start to finish and laugh every time. It will never get old.
Sara Nagy
Thursday, 28 January, 2016 at 8:09I am going to make all of my friends read this, all two of them! Thanks for laying out so perfectly!
LadyAilish
Tuesday, 8 March, 2016 at 17:11Can I get a printer friendly version? 🙂 Absolutely love this!
Monica Craig
Tuesday, 17 May, 2016 at 11:33oh God! I need a friend like this….
Anyone in Colorado?!!
Bryce Warden
Tuesday, 17 May, 2016 at 12:47OK so I’m two years late reading this but that’s cool right? 16 & 18 were my personally faves.
Paris4gmj
Monday, 5 June, 2017 at 13:03Number 11 needs further explaining…..when my kid is a shithead I will deal with it because I know my kid was a shithead and not get mad at you for pointing it out to me or talk about you behind your back to other moms because MY KID WAS THE SHITHEAD AND NOT YOU FOR BRINGING IT TO MY ATTENTION..!
LadyNessy
Saturday, 28 July, 2018 at 15:26I just found this blog and im so glad i need me some friends like this!!