- A few days ago I was changing the sheets on my bed (which I do every six months whether they need it or not!) and I noticed the blanket stuck to the flannel sheet. Like REALLY STUCK. Now don’t get all dirty on me…you aren’t, are you? Okay good.
- So as I pull the sheet away from the blanket, I notice this thick pink substance between them. I thought it was bubble gum. I edged forward and gave a little sniff, attempting to decipher the strange adhesive matter in my bed. It didn’t smell like bubble gum – didn’t really smell like anything. I called Mac over and we examined it together. I was baffled. He said “Um, I think it’s silly putty.”
- And it was. There was SILLY PUTTY in my bed. Obviously, that’s never going in the kids’ stockings again. Incidentally, isopropyl alcohol dissolves silly putty. I hate silly putty. Occasionally I hate my kids. I mean who the hell plays with silly putty in their parents’ bed?! So wrong.
- Speaking of weird shit, Rocket spent most of the day yesterday hanging off the furniture upside down trying to make his head red. He’d just suspend there and yell out, no matter where anybody was in the house, “IS IT RED YET?” IS IT? IS IT? MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA Is MY HEAD RED?!?”
- This week I made bread with my kids – whole wheat bread with real yeast and wheat flour and everything. In the actual oven. I felt like a super Waldorf mom. The bread kind of tasted like ass, but whatever. It was worth it since I could tell myself what an excellent, engaged mother I am for the whole week.
- Speaking of excellent parenting, the gym has free child care and a hot tub. I pretty much spend two hours there each day, “working out.”
- Tomorrow I go back to school. Yippee. Restraining myself. Alright fine. I’ll admit it. Just like every semester, I’m a little excited. And just like every semester, in 6 weeks or so I’ll be under my bed in the fetal position.
- Do you guys read The Daddy Dialogues? If not, you should. Brandon (the writer) is a startlingly funny, insightful, smart father of twins. He has a spectacular wife, too, named Erin, who blogs HERE. She is equally fabulous and I am finally sleeping again, since she’s returned after a WAY TOO LONG blogging hiatus.
- So we were in IKEA today gazing lovingly at organizational systems [I will never use] when I got this somewhat unpleasant aroma wafting my way. Realized it was coming from Ava’s mouth. She didn’t brush her teeth that morning. So after throwing my all into a lively lecture regarding bacteria and hygiene and common decency and the suffering of those around her, all the way out the door and into the car, I decided all of this was wholly ineffective…and then I got an idea.
- I pulled the car over on the side of the road and said “come on. You’re brushing your teeth now.” She looked at me dumbfounded. Shocked and appalled. I said “I’m not kidding, yo,” and got my tooth brush and toothpaste out of my gym bag, handed it to her along with a bottle of water and said “Go. Now. Brush.” In the rain. In the street. But she did it, scowling at me in between laughs. Come on, you have to admit, that actually was a bit of a winning mothering moment…right?
Annie
Sunday, 22 January, 2012 at 20:55Perfect!
Brandon
Sunday, 22 January, 2012 at 21:13Thanks for the love. Although I think people are going to be a little disappointed after your kind words. Also YAY for dental hygiene!
Vicki Huerta-Miller
Sunday, 22 January, 2012 at 22:04Janelle-
You are awesome. For #10, you just went up even higher in my book. Well played, lady, well played. I may steal your idea for my little foul mouthed 6 year old who “pretends” to wash his teeth (meaning, not at all).
kim
Monday, 23 January, 2012 at 6:33I just want to let you know that you just helped me with a domestic dilemma. Yes, you did. Lily got silly putty on her lovey and it’s been bothering me – I’ve tried washing it several times and it just won’t budge. But NOW I KNOW, thanks to YOU, that I just need rubbing alcohol.
Jennifer
Monday, 23 January, 2012 at 8:02I love the picture. My kids hate brushing their teeth. I’ll have to remember this. And carry a toothbrush and toothpaste?
Kateri Von Steal
Monday, 23 January, 2012 at 8:49ROFL.
BRUSH NOW!
Stephanie
Monday, 23 January, 2012 at 9:49Wow, that’s hilarious. And she will now (maybe) remember to brush her teeth. Maybe.
Karen Hug-Nagy
Tuesday, 24 January, 2012 at 16:45HILARIOUS! I love the part about the silly putty and I hate tht stuff too, can you imagine the germs on that stuff after being in their grimy little hands?