Look, I know how it goes. You pee on that stick and you’re all “OMG I’m having a baby!?” but you can’t tell anybody because the obligatory 12 weeks, so you go to the one place you can get excited and talk safely (OR SO YOU THINK)…
BabyCenter.
You log on, create some cryptic name for yourself, find your “Birth Club” and start reading. You think you’ll find some like-minded women in the same stage of pregnancy as you and you can all commiserate and stuff.
But all you see are acronyms. Lots and lots of acronyms. What the fuck do DD, DS, BFP and FTM mean?
Who are these people? Do all mothers speak in acronyms? Why are they all using acronyms? HOW COME I’M THE ONLY ONE NOT USING ACRONYMS?
After reading a few posts and having no clue what the hell they’re saying, you sheepishly Google “BabyCenter acronyms” hoping nobody sees and praying to God there’s some sort of guidebook for this new world. I mean you’ve only been pregnant for 47 minutes and you’re already incapable of joining the mother crew?
It ain’t looking good.
Rest easy, friend. As a woman presently enjoying her 4th child’s limbs flailing against her bladder, I’m here to tell you in absolutely no uncertain terms that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and no, despite appearances, mothers are not some sort of weird gang wherein language is reduced to communication-via-acronyms, as if baby-in-womb immediately results in the inability to write words out completely.
DD is “dear daughter” and DS is “dear son” and DH is yep, you guessed it, dear husband. And yes, I’m with you. Why the hell do I have to add “dear” to the beginning of my kids’ titles? Isn’t that sort of contained in the word “son” or “daughter?” I mean it’s my SON OR DAUGHTER. Sons and daughters tend to be “dear” to their mothers. Usually. For at least a couple hours a day.
Husbands, on the other hand, are another story and I’m still confused about what sort of twisted 1950s throw-back decided all husbands have to be referred to as “dears.” Perhaps they’ve never actually had a husband, or cohabitated with another human at all.
But I digress. FTM is “first time mom,” which basically means certain non-FTMs will tell you all the things you don’t know and will never know until you’ve reached the pinnacle of motherhood (as they have). It’s also a flag to signal to the douchebag judgmental mothers “I’m new here. Please don’t attack me for my question.” (Edit: Also, FTM means “female-to-male” and, on this blog, “Fuck the Man.” Good times.)
Incidentally, we don’t all know things you don’t. In fact, some of us admit to not knowing shit and even, perhaps, knowing less with each child. Perhaps we have a little more experience with not knowing shit, but meaningful, universal parental advice? Yeah, for some of us that died a little more with each baby, along with the stamina of our pelvic floors.
I mean I’ve been a mother for nearly 13 years and all I have to offer is that I think the excessive use of acronyms should be classified as some sort of disease, particularly when it’s used to turn regular words into cute words.
The worst acronym is BFP. “Big fat positive.” Oh god help me. Just say “positive pregnancy test” and move on.
Maybe I’m just a bitter skeptic.
No, for sure I’m a bitter skeptic. And if you’re still reading, you might be one too.
So anyway you read the acronym list and you’re “in” and stuff but now that you know what people are saying, you’re actually more terrified than you were before. It turns out that access to the content of these posts is actually WAY WORSE than the ignorance you previously faced.
You read things like “Hey, FTM here. I just got my BFP and I’m wondering…is it possible to get pregnant from a blow job?”
You read it like 7 times, lest your eyes deceive you. You tell yourself you’re making it up. It’s a joke. Somebody’s joking. THIS MUST BE A JOKE.
But then the next post is titled “Am I pregnant?” and you’re like “Well hmmmm, I fear I may not be the correct person to answer such a question, particularly since I’m not a motherfucking pregnancy test.”
Who answers the question “Am I pregnant?” by logging on to an online forum? In other words, a place 100% unable to provide a reliable answer, particularly when a reliable answer is available for a few bucks at the local grocery store?
And then you start to wonder if perhaps you’ve entered some strange twilight zone in which all the people are insane, and the ones who aren’t insane post things like “Abortion is MURDER” and then wonder why they get so much “backlash for sharing their opinions.”
Wait. Maybe they’re insane too.
You read on, sure you’ll find your people. Sure you’ll find people who are just kind of regular ol’ humans who just found out they’re pregnant but instead you find people asking about baking soda and urine to determine the sex of their baby (at 5 weeks pregnant). You decide to give it a break and try another day, for the good of your own mental well-being.
A couple weeks later you wonder when you might feel your baby move. You log on and read this: “I felt my baby move at 6 weeks. It’s all a matter of how in-tune you are with your body. I do yoga so I’m sure that’s how I felt it.”
And you’re like “What the fuck is wrong with this broad? You moron your “baby” is like the size of a goddamn pea – and it has no limbs yet – but rather than own the fact that logic has clearly vacated your brain, you’ve somehow managed to turn this around to look like a deficiency on MY PART. (You know, because I’m so out of touch with my body I can’t feel the flutters of practically nothing.)
Look, FTM, all I really want to say is that you aren’t alone. BabyCenter and Pinterest and shit, they’re fun, I like them okay sometimes, but I assure you you’re not the only one who reads words like “I haven’t yet committed to a nursery theme” and feels a strange sense of existential angst. There’s nothing wrong with you because your “nursery” is an office you were supposed to deal with a year ago, or a corner in your bedroom, or a corner in your bedroom of your parents’ house. There’s nothing wrong with you because your “nursery theme” is the stuff your sister gave you, or you look at that empty bedroom and realize you have absolutely no taste. None. No decorative style/ability/decorative talent up in here. So basically you buy stuff and put it in the room and hope for the best.
There’s nothing wrong with you because you’ve gained 36 pounds at 29 weeks and the BabyCenter humans are all “I’ve gained 12 pounds and I’m 38 weeks and I just feel AWFUL!”
You’re not the only one who reads posts about “still satisfying my man even when I’m pregnant” with an eye-roll and mumble “Satisfy my man? Huh? He’s lucky he gets it once a month. I’m creating new life, piss on myself when I laugh and have a baby pressing against my cervical wall and I waddle – WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE IF MY “MAN” IS GETTING HIS ROCKS OFF?”
There’s nothing wrong with BabyCenter. That’s not true. There’s a shit-ton wrong with BabyCenter, but of not everybody there is psycho. And it’s damn entertaining. I still go on it sometimes, for funsies, to watch the drama, to read things like “HELP ME! I can’t find a perfect GOING HOME OUTFIT!!!!” and enjoy it for what it is while being okay with the fact that my baby’s “going home outfit” is not the central focus of my day, nor will it ever be, because I just don’t care that much about things like that. Yeah, when I had hospital births it was fun, but it was never life-changing. So few of these things are ever actually life-changing: The crib, the diaper bag, the nursery theme, the carseat system thing.
For a long time I felt like a freak because the only damn thing that really mattered to me was the baby, and possibly the fact that it was in my belly and needed to exit. I didn’t get excited about cupcakes or baby sprinkles or gender reveals or cute baby announcements (have yet to send those bastards out) and I was sure I was defective somehow. I’m a subpar homemaker with rooms that don’t match and the idea of “coordinating” things makes my stomach hurt.
But truthfully the only think I’ve really learned over the past 13 years is that THE ONLY DAMN THING THAT MATTERS IS THE BABY.
It’s the only part that’s life-changing at all. The rest can be fun, but it’s superfluous, and it’s okay not to care and in fact, many of us don’t.
So yeah, you may feel like the silent lurking freak on BabyCenter, but you are not alone. There’s a shitload of us.
Just wanted to let you know.
Um, my baby’s “nursery.” It’s next to my dresser. Inside is Georgia’s doll and pillow. Tied to the leg is our dog’s leash, because he chews shit at night if he’s not tethered. Pin that shit, baby!
Amy
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:06Thank you for this! I feel sometimes that I am the only one who is wondering about all the acronyms. Of course, I also greatly dislike when people say they are preggars, or Prego(also a spaghetti sauce). I guess I’m just old fashioned. I also tell my 2 1/2 old twin girls that mommy will not be taking them on any ‘play dates’ , we are just going somewhere to play!
dianne l lindsey
Wednesday, 28 September, 2016 at 5:35MY issue:
WE’RE pregnant
No the collective you is not pregnant
Period
Atrebla
Tuesday, 18 October, 2016 at 21:20I love “we’re pregnant” – because it draws my partner into it. Sure, I’m the one with the baby inside my body, but he’s doing work too and it’s both of us in it together…he’s expecting a baby just as much as I am. Since we’re a cis-hetero couple, it’s pretty obvious that I’m the one with the uterus. I don’t see an issue with this…and it just rolls off my tongue pretty naturally, so I don’t beat myself up about it and wouldn’t begrudge a woman for saying it.
DH though? That’s over the top…
Tenisha
Wednesday, 9 November, 2016 at 13:40AGREE AGREE AGREE !!
SabbaDabba
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:11Yes to all of this. I would amend “The only thing that matters is the baby,” to also include “You, the people you choose to parent with, and your baby are the only things that matter.” Families growing together, and each part of that puzzle continuing to “matter” in the context of this new life and shape, that’s my biggest priority. I don’t want to forget my husband or myself, or our dog for that matter. The cat, the cat will be fine.
Elizabeth
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:34Glad it’s not just me! Reading some of those posts I always felt like I had slid sideways into some kind of parallel universe. For the record, my knee-jerk interpretation of FTM was Fuck the Man, and it’s amusing to mentally insert that when reading posts.
LisaC
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:35Love. Love. Love. Love. I found some amazing friends there but there are mean spirited trolls on that site, plain and simple.
Danielle Stovall
Thursday, 2 July, 2020 at 1:53Yes, they’re are and it stinks it’s being excused as ‘satire’ by a group on there.
Gloria
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:55I wish you were blogging 14 years ago. I was pregnant my senior year of college and felt so isolated. I had minimal baby supplies and most of them were hand me downs. The baby (now a lovely 8th grader) turned out fine, of course – I wish I had known that at the time!
April
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:57Wow! I have never been on that website as I have 8+ years of trying to conceive under my belt but they seem snarky in that room. I will stick with my infertility groups when I finally get my BFP (which after 8 years is a BIG FAST POSITIVE).
Gloria
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 13:58I just remembered that my only ‘resource’ was that horrible book ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’…..shudder….it should be called ‘Pregnancy: You’re doing it wrong’.
MommaDJane
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:00Hilarious. My oldest will be 17 this summer and I had no idea what all the acronyms meant. Learned something new today, although my youngest and last is 7 now.
Emma Hawkins
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:01Ah so refreshing to read this.
Kim
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:02Hah! Yes. Great article! So much truth. (Also, I absolutely needed the chuckle today. I appreciate the hell out of this.)
Katherine
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:52PILLOW?! OMG! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS A PILLOW IN THE CRIB IS??!!
😉 Couldn’t resist.
amy
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:54Love this. I wasn’t hip to the site during my first pregnancy but at 8 weeks along on second knocked-up-ness, I’m finding I’m a frickin moron.
Dani
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:54I LOVED Baby Centre when I was pregnant. The idealism, the smug rightness exuded from every poorly spelled, acronym-littered atrocity of a post, I could overlook it all in the face of all the new information I was suddenly and surprisingly interested in. As soon as I had an actual new human who didn’t care Jack shit for how many hours he was supposed to be sleeping at night, the appeal waned.
I started a post this morning about the emails I still get from Baby Centre and how even though I’m now 19 months into this motherhood thing and know that it’s a all load of crap, they still make me feel like I’m doing motherhood WRONG. Now I’ll feel a bit weird if I finish it, like I’m copycatting… damn, I’m doing that wrong too!
amy
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 14:55I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to punch DH in throat.
Jodi
Tuesday, 26 June, 2018 at 8:47Totally. I prefer to think Dickhead when I see DH.
Gives me a bit of a giggle. ????
Jessica
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 15:05Yes!! This times a million!! I got a positive preggo test in November and logged on just for fun, and it TOTALLY freaked me out, in a span of a week I was convinced I was having an eptopic pregnancy, a miscarriage, or an alien or maybe I wasn’t even pregnant at all… I was totally stressed out. The little cells decided to stop growing at 5 weeks, so I had a reason to stop logging on, but when we found out I was pregnant again this month, I made a very strict no baby center policy and I’ve been uber relaxed!
I’ll never forget reading these women who had names and clothing bought within an hour of their positive test and then were devastated when it was just a chemical pregnancy and they got their period a week later, I know there are real stresses that come with problems concieving, but these women were WAY to intense for me. **shudder**
Never again!
Jess
Monday, 24 March, 2014 at 5:49If you want a good, no stress website, mothering.com is where I ran to after I realized everyone on babycenter was bat shit crazy.
Racheal
Friday, 11 November, 2016 at 1:50LMBOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mel
Friday, 14 July, 2017 at 14:03I like using WeddingBee, stuff is always super positive there and the community is great, LOL. Stuff they post isnt even marriage related too so you don’t have to worry. (Personally never tried babycenter)
Meredith
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 15:58Your post just made my day! Teething, congestion and finding a cockroach nest in a toy box are hardly entertaining. I needed a good belly laugh, thanks!
Ennel
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 16:08My brain always translates FTM to Female to Male, as in trans identity. It makes the posts far more interesting.
Ruth
Thursday, 6 March, 2014 at 8:42So did mine. I kept thinking, “WTF?” And i agree, it does make the posts far more interesting.
Cristina
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 16:58I love you so much for saying this. So many women post serious medical questions and I’m like uh, ask your doctor. I despise all the acronyms and deliberately don’t use them. DH my ass.
Lexi
Tuesday, 20 March, 2018 at 15:58Uh, you do know not every pregnant woman has insurance, right? If those types of posts bother you, just ignore them
???? I was told to not go to the doctor about everything.
Tracey a.k.a. KidLit
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 17:36Ok chick, where were you when I was preggo and freakin’ out?!? Eh, oh well. I some how survived and so did the kids so… all is good.
BTW, my kiddos “nursery” was beside my bed for all 3. First one, I bought baby decor, realized how stupid it looked in an adult room and sold it. Didn’t bother with the other 2.
Stephanie
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:05I LOLed twice. And, by the way, I felt my DTs (darling twins — HA! I always thought it was darling. No?) move immediately following conception. In fact, at that moment, a youthful cherub leaned down from heaven and whispered what I can remember only as, “You’re fucked, sister!”
Alison
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:08The acronyms annoy the shit out of me.
Especially when it crosses over to blog posts and comments – come on people, keep it to the Babycenter forums!!
I love this post so much.
tomi
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:25I gave up on babycenter a long time ago. You really wonder about some of those ladies. The tell me if I’m pregnant posts were always painful. Especially the ones that said ” I have three negative tests, but I just know I’m pregnant. i have xyz symptoms, could I be preggers? When do you think I am due?”
I ended up being the jerk saying “pee on your keyboard and I will let you know”
Jessica S.
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 6:40Ha ha ha ha….I saw that comment, and it was hilarious!
Racheal
Friday, 11 November, 2016 at 1:54???????????????????????????????????????????? oooh my gosh i cant laugh out loud… ill wake my husband up… (insomnia and heartburn…go figure)
Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:28A hilariously accurate profile of the pregnancy message boards. People take their social “lives” on these boards much too seriously and all I want to say is “hashtag first world problems.”
Eliza
Friday, 24 June, 2016 at 7:08“People take their social “lives” on these boards much too seriously…” YESSSSS
Lexi
Tuesday, 20 March, 2018 at 16:01And you’re part of the problem on BabyCenter. Being a b****. ????
jill (mrs chaos)
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:33I have never NOT ONCE called my husband Dear Husband. Because NO. I can’t handle the DD, DS and DH. Like, at all.
And yes, I know you said other things besides that, but that’s all I can focus on because I hate it that much.
Kyla
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:36Oh my god you hit this one on the head!!! Awesome post….simply awesome. After giving birth to my second child just 4 days ago I sooooo relate to everything you say above and found my self in hysterics as I read. And yes…the only f*&ing thing that matters is the baby. People asked us right up to the day “is the nursery ready yet?” Uh…nursery? You mean the spare room that my partner slept in for 9 months because I was unbearable to sleep beside while pregnant? No, it’s not. It will have a crib and a dresser and a lamp. At some point. Maybe. 😉
Love your blog…I love that it is and you are real. Keep it up!!
Vagina
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 18:58All the reasons I love you!!! Until this very moment I had no friggin clue what those acronyms meant. I have no idea why, but it always looked kind of like porno talk to me. Like DD somehow has something to do with S&M’s or something. I don’t know!! Anyway….I have 4 kids, and a broken vagina, and I piss myself constantly and that is real life for me. That’s what I would like to read at baby center. The hardest thing for me is the constant comparing. It starts when you are pregnant, and continues after the baby is here with ” is your baby doing this or doing that”..kind of BS. I regret things with my first baby because I let people get to me and make me feel like I needed to be better. I was only 17 and everyone felt they needed to tell me how to do things. So I pushed her to walk and pushed her to not be attached and all the bullshit that everyone said I needed to do. By the time I had my 4th if anyone even tried to tell me i was doing it wrong I would tell them to fuck the fuck off!!!! I will breast feed my baby as long as I damn well want too. I will let my kid sleep in my bed as long as I damn well want too! And why the hell does anyone else care about how I choose to love and care for my child anyway. I Love you so damn much Janelle!! You are an inspiration to non pinterest moms everywhere!!! The only thing I would say here is that I do actually get excited about cupcakes. But that has nothing to do with having babies…I just really like cupcakes. Mostly because I don’t like sharing.
Emma
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 19:08Oh my goodness, I am actually crying with laughter. Where were you when I was pregnant? I really hope my son is not scarred by the lack of a gender reveal party, baby shower, assembled baby book (the book is a beautiful handmade gift from a friend and still as empty as the day I opened it), or theme for anything at all. I can only hope actual time spent together will help him get through therapy later on in life.
katrina
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 19:12you are AWESOME!!
cara
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 19:14oH.. I needed the laughs today Janelle.. thank you so much!
I’m 25 weeks totally unprepared and fully checked into the high risk unit 60 miles from home. My mom is asking me about the shower and what theme I want and if she should bring all her friends to my room in the antepartum ward (yes I studied latin and know what it means.. but seriously could a pre-baby landing pad sound more vampiric if it tried?)
I’m just cringing…uhmm.. I hope she stays in until tomorrow mom.. I really don’t care if we have a shower and please no pink. anything but pink.. lavender, yellow, neon green.. anything but pink..
oh and did I mention the only name my DH ever repeats is Xerox so this FTM is totally out of her element because I thought that I’d get my laundry out of the someday nursery/live out step-sister/wedding present room before we finally move the old desk and printer out of the way for the crib and full pottery barn (2nd hand) bedroom set my mom bought me (under duress) at 5 weeks.. 20 weeks later.. still no nursery.. but all the lurking and ridiculous self defining of alphabet soup acronyms seems so indulgent when I’m trying to focus all of my “in touch with my body” energy on grow quick little industrialized paper eating machine named baby while conning my kidneys into healing themselves enough to keep her inside just one more day (or fingers crossed 9 weeks?).
Jessica
Thursday, 20 February, 2014 at 23:48Agree entirely. Another classic one for the glossary is AF = Aunt Flo: menstruation/period. WTF?!!
peggy miller
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 4:21When I was expecting my daughter, I asked my OB for a decent pregnancy manual that didn’t insult my intelligence the way “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” did. He laughed. Also, I did read some book about saving money on baby crap while I was expecting and the first thing it said was “Heads up folks: the only thing your new baby NEEDS is you. The rest is just commercials.” That gave me a lot of perspective and I’m glad I came across it when I did. It helped. Yay for cutting through the bullshit!
Jessica S.
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 6:27Someone posted this on my birth club on Baby Center and we love it! It’s hilarious! And so dead on. I flippin’ hate acronyms, they drive me insane and we’re adults, it is NOT hard to type crap out!
Not to mention the women worried about take home outfits. You’re taking home a baby, isn’t that more exciting than the outfit you put it in?
Also, one thing you forgot to mention, was the women who should really be calling their doctors when they have some scary symptoms, but who post to ask if if they should call. Then they say they’ll wait, when *GASP* everyone tells them to call their doctor!
IGL
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 6:58This is refreshing. That is the easiest way to say it. When my wife and I were having our first, we of course went to Baby Center, which was quasi-helpful. I think our best move was to stay out of the forums – there are literally thousands of books about babies and how to raise them in whatever way you prefer, why do we need a bunch of over-opinionated mother hens telling me we am doing it wrong because we didn’t buy a g-d wipe warmer?! Also, I am in complete agreement, I, a husband, am less than “dear”. Perhaps we should consider the “D” in those acronyms to mean “damn” because let’s be honest, we all love our families – spouses and kids alike – but more often than not, we all crave the 10-30 minutes of peace we might get once the kids are down and the spouse is absorbed in whatever activity allows them to forget that tomorrow it all starts again.
Sarah
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 9:11Yes to alllllll this. Thanks for giving me a great laugh this morning!
Brenda
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 12:29OMG, the acronyms are the worst! And just when you think you have them figured out, you decide to research a new baby topic, like cloth diapers, and have to learn a whole new set of acronyms! I refuse, I still call my husband, “husband” and my daughter, “daughter.” It’s not that hard, people!
Sam
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 13:30This is brilliant! So glad I’m not alone – the acronym thing is absolutely hideous and you are so right about there being ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for adding the word ‘Dear’ to everything! I think I felt a little bit of sick come in my mouth when i found out that’s what it meant! I was a silent lurker too for a while until I got too exasperated by a thread started by someone who thought it was completely normal to be trying to sleep train a 5 week old baby! Nutters!
MissFifi
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 13:41I remember looking up stuff when I found out I was preggers.The acronym thing was mind boggling and I had to look it all up! LOL
I am an older mom, had the surprise sprung on me at 41 and I have to say I was surprised by how many nasty people there are in the baby world. Look, if I do not want to or can’t breast feed or if I want to circumcise MY son, I will, so piss off. Women really can be their own worst enemy.
I feel because I was older I was a little more relaxed and not as easy to be made to fell like shit because of choices we made. The one thing I tell every new Momma is “Don’t go online too much” and “Go with your gut. What works for you and yours may not be what works for others.” I also no longer have guilt with letting our two year old hang on the iPad watching PBS Kids or some stuff on YouTube. We interact, we play, we discuss,you know, I treat him like a person not some appendage that should be worshipped in special snowflake style. (WOW, who let that crazy lady in here??) LOL Sorry for the side rant 🙂
MeiLe
Sunday, 26 October, 2014 at 23:15I’m only in my 20’s, but was raised by grandparents and am old-fashioned. Being young and pregnant, and old-fashioned, definitely led to hard times on Baby Center. When I got PPD and tried to reach out for advice or stories from others who might have had PPD, all I got were comments that I was lying and didn’t really have it or was just trying to get pity points. Or letting my son sleep on his stomach made me a bad mom who shouldn’t be allowed to raise kids because I’m gonna make him die of SIDS. Heaven forbid I let him have a pillow because it helps him sleep better, or a blanket because he gets overheated easily and I wanted him to be able to kick it off.
Well… almost 6 months later… he’s alive and well, and couldn’t be happier. Now they say I’m lying that he has teeth or is sitting and trying to stand. Definitely agree with you about not going online too much. BabyCenter + Postpartum Depression = crying your eyes our and wanting to starve for days on end, plus feelings of minor hatred towards your family. Definitely not how I wanted to feel after having a baby!
Daniella
Saturday, 3 September, 2016 at 10:32I was attacked the same way for making a spelling mistake….and they all made fun of me, I quit. Soneone told me that I dont deserve a child becoz I told her I pray for everyone, it doesn’t matter their religion
Truthful teepee
Monday, 31 August, 2015 at 9:21Even though you made him, you can’t own a living being. He may not want a piece of his penis cut off. Many mothers feel guilty and get defensive bc they just went along w the practice and then realized how terrible it is later.
Kelly
Friday, 27 November, 2015 at 14:40I’m newly pregnant and very hormonal, so I’m trying my best to not be a bitch about your response truthful teepee. However, your reply is just a passive aggressive way to tell other mothers what they are doing wrong. I believe that is the exact opposite of what this blog and post was about. So please, don’t force your opinions on other people. To each his own.
Jennifer
Friday, 21 February, 2014 at 15:26The thing that always drove me insane is when people would start to talk about the “birth experience.” The only experience I had was being miserable, and the only thing I cared about was ending up with a healthy baby. I didn’t really care how it got here as long as it got out.
Missy
Saturday, 22 February, 2014 at 8:43Babies make us all dumb and crazy. It’s all their fault. The end.
Sam
Saturday, 22 February, 2014 at 15:49I found your blog on babycenter, my board has been pretty dramatic. They’re crazy!
I have to tie my dog to the bed too. She is also crazy and eats diapers from the garbage at night.
Diana
Monday, 24 February, 2014 at 14:48Just about the only piece of advice I give to friends who are parents-to-be is to stay the hell away from those painfully ridiculous message boards.
When I was pregnant, my mom sent me the Dr. Spock parenting book she bought in the 70s while they were stationed overseas (see also: no Skype and no money for long distance calls). It was her only parenting advice. Still not as bad as some of the crazy that throws itself up all over Baby Center.
Sarah H
Monday, 24 February, 2014 at 19:50I have been a BabyCenter member for almost 7 years. I am also a member of a Facebook group that is a BabyCenter spin off and I would count those women among some of my closest friends. When my oldest son passed away suddenly last year, I found an incredible outpouring of love and support from hundreds of people that I will probably never meet in real life. These same anonymous people released balloons all across the country for my son on what would have been his sixth birthday. BabyCenter is certainly not all bad.
Laurie McFarland
Monday, 24 February, 2014 at 20:31Ha! I love this and I love you. I was a major underachiever with all the baby crap with my first born, and it all went downhill from there. My fourth kid was lucky if I remembered to pack a diaper when we went out. I love my babies, just not all the paraphenalia. (And if I’ve mispelled anything here, it’s because I don’t know how to spell anymore thanks to autocorrect. I’m typing this on a PC.)
Emily
Tuesday, 25 February, 2014 at 20:42Almost every time is read your blog I’m convinced that you’re either my best friend or my idol. Thank you for writing.
Temptress Mama
Wednesday, 26 February, 2014 at 13:22I didn’t even know I was supposed to make cute baby announcements until I found that space in the baby book. I wrote “we announced it on Facebook in a status update and called people” in that section. It was also after my step brother had his kid six months later announced with one of those cutesy photos that I started to wonder if I did something “wrong”. Then I remembered I didn’t care! As for the going home outfit, I hadn’t put too much thought into it because my original plan was to deliver at home. I got talked into going to the hospital by one of the midwives who thankfully didn’t deliver my son. Next kid’s at home so I won’t be caring about a going home outfit then either. And don’t get me started on gender reveals and baby sprinkles. Not doing either with our next kid. Not even sure I want to have a big party for my son’s first birthday because there are too many people, many of whom I only sort of tolerate, and it’s too much work for something he’ll probably sleep through.
Dana
Friday, 28 February, 2014 at 15:02Oh yeah, I remember googling all those abbreviated things too. Ad yes I remember reading the most ridiculous posts on the forum which was one of the main a sons I le the forum.
Becky
Saturday, 1 March, 2014 at 15:00I’m not even a mom yet, and a few years ago used message boards on The Nest to deal with some issues, and glanced at The Bump, also saw a ton of acronyms I didn’t understand – and didn’t want to understand. Thank you so much for more assurance that I am not a total weirdo for not wanting to me in the know. I should get on one of those baby boards and use ATBBC – Ahhhh These Bitches Be Crazy. I made that one up by myself.
Lexi
Tuesday, 20 March, 2018 at 16:09I laughed so hard at your abbreviation lmao. I love it.
becky
Monday, 7 April, 2014 at 3:56OMG I hate bloomin acronyms too! 😉
StaCee
Wednesday, 16 April, 2014 at 16:04DH my ass.. after 17 years of marriage the man is lucky to be alive.. and the only time I call him dear is in the sarcastic, you’re in deep fucking shit, “yes Dear” manner.. lol
StaCee
Wednesday, 16 April, 2014 at 16:06P.S. I always find it entertaining to replace the dear in dh, ds, dd with something different each time.. douchey, ditzy, dumbass, it’s hours of fun for the whole family..
Haley
Sunday, 18 May, 2014 at 19:04http://community.babycenter.com/post/a49865911/traumatized_by_bbc?cpg=2&csi=2455967589&pd=1
BBCs very own Debate Team has decided to use this post as a topic of debate. You’re famous. 😉
Kelli S
Thursday, 26 June, 2014 at 8:13So GREAT!!! The BEST thing about my daughter’s “going home” outfit was that two months later, my husband, having placed less than no importance on it in the first place, stuffed her in it and she looked like a big pink tick! It was like on the movie “A Christmas Story” when the kid is crying in his snowsuit because he can’t put his arms down. I laughed so hard, I peed my pants, (although I was already used to that by then) not just because she looked so funny, but because he had no idea the outfit had any significance, nor that it was too small, nor that there was anything wrong with it once on her! Babycenter had its moments- like the weekly (I think) e-mail telling you which fruit or veggie closely represented the size of the baby inside. We called her a kumquat for a long time! But don’t get sucked into the discussions, or the milestones. People raise kids in mud huts. I’m sure my hand-me-down nursery theme will be just fine.
sue
Friday, 27 June, 2014 at 13:10I feel like I wrote this myself and had just forgotten about it.
Mandy
Sunday, 3 August, 2014 at 20:14Thank you for this. Someone needs to make those acronyms STOP! They are beyond obnoxious, & I find it hard to believe that pregnant hormones have not yet caused someone to go apesh*t on one of the forums. DD? Really… You’re one letter away from an actual word!
Can’t we unite as pregnant women and vote these things off?
JESSICA
Thursday, 7 August, 2014 at 7:42THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!! FEEL MUCH BETTER!!
YoungScientists
Wednesday, 3 December, 2014 at 10:50Hi everyone!
We are a group of three Irish students, studying the impact of C-sections on breastfeeding rates. Our project has qualified the the BT Young Scientist Competition 2015.
Please help us by filling in our official survey!
http://fluidsurveys.com/surveys/maeveshaw15/factors-impacting-on-breastfeeding-rates/
This survey is for ALL mothers and is 100% anonomous.
Thank you so much,
The Team 🙂
Rose
Saturday, 17 January, 2015 at 4:30Yeah I read some of those threads one in which a mum said she did not want the fetal monitor. Who was told by one poster that if she refused it the hospital could get a court order and forced her and she’s find herself tied to the bed “for her own good.”
Then there was this other thread here
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a38806180/were_your_arms_strapped_down_during_c-sec
Where these mums were telling another poor mamma having a C section that she’d have her arms straped to the OR table. They don’t do that now, at least not here in New York hospitals and I have a C Section 2 years ago And I certainly was not strapped down. I think some of those posters just say things to wind each other up. They shouldn’t be allowed to post such misinformation. If some poor expectant mamma reads that it could sends her into a panic I don’t understand why the mods on that forum allow such posts.
Rose.
Brandi
Sunday, 1 January, 2017 at 20:01They definitely do strap your arms down, I had my baby in 2013 and I had my arms strapped
Babycentersucks
Wednesday, 21 January, 2015 at 1:23I had the most horrid experience at BabyCenter. It’s filled to the brim with extremely rude and immature individuals that enjoy offending and ridiculing others. Yet, if you actually call someone out on being rude, your comment gets deleted. I’ve seen way too many people pretty much run away screaming from there … and so did I, pretty much. I’m just now waiting for my account to be deleted. Nevermore. Blargh.
ParkersGal
Monday, 17 August, 2015 at 18:15Yep I agree. You have people who are pretty self centered working at Baby Center. Just because a person has a miscarriage does not make her a great mom. I see her replying to women all the time on this blog. She has no idea what she’s talking about because she never gave birth, and she’s a stepmom (which makes it worse). Anyway, those are the types of people who work at Baby center and who monitor the blogs.
Babycenterbitchesneedalife
Sunday, 8 April, 2018 at 17:18OMG! This. Is. Everything!! Is anyone going to mention the “moderators” who in all reality probably neglect their children so they can stay glued to the blog to determine who is cool and who is not?? I got to be a part of one of their boards for 5 min. Until I got blocked for telling someone to not bully a seemingly innocent user!!! I got blocked while these other women (or so I thought) were literally verbally jumping someone. I laughed now… But I do hope people find this post before signing up to be verbally abused!!
When I think of the women I encountered on that site.. I envision nasty trolls sitting under a bridge on a laptop. Posting memes.
lizzie1hoops
Monday, 9 February, 2015 at 16:29I know this post is a year old…I’m 6 weeks pregnant and seriously scared of BabyCenter. Test tweaking anyone?? That’s a thing where a pregnancy test is inconclusive (read:negative) but women get others to mess with photos of the test to see if they can make it appear different? Help!
s rush
Wednesday, 25 February, 2015 at 18:03Yes, Id say about 99% of anything related to pregnancy and infertility Ive found online is just sad. Sad because it says how manipulative the industry of it is, and how well that manipulation is working! The online culture of pregnancy and infertility is ignorant, cruel, pathetic, desperate. It got me here to this website because I googled “who hates pregnancy acronyms”. I wish I never had to google anything else about it! Ill try not to!
Janine
Sunday, 15 March, 2015 at 16:18OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!!
Im a FIRST TIME MUM who joined babycentre when I was still taking things in and boy have I noticed the stuff people keep posting. Something I keep seeing is everyone is STILL taking pregnancy tests even after they have got their positive. Why??? I kid you not one women was complaining that 3 out of her 25 pregancy tests were negative. Im glad im on the only one 🙂
Little Tex
Sunday, 29 March, 2015 at 13:05Thank you! I was wondering if people who reproduce are all drooling idiots. Now what is that saying about us? Or does having a BFP (big fat positive) mean your brain starts to deteriorate to the point where you can only speak in acronyms and start to wish “baby dust!” on others? If anyone has a suggestion on communities I can visit with some intelligent life, I would certainly appreciate suggestions.
Emiline
Thursday, 9 April, 2015 at 10:57I’m 9 weeks pregnant and found your blog while googling these acronyms so I could deceipher the content on baby centre and similar sites. I’ve found baby centre to be useful for the articles, but like you, I find myself cringing when reading the comments. Doh!
Keri
Saturday, 11 April, 2015 at 20:55OMG I freakin love you… you’re awesome….
Schezo
Monday, 11 May, 2015 at 4:38I’m a dad and I’m the one who look things up while my wife is taking care of the baby. The last thing I want to see when I need solutions are these useless acronyms. I’m especially sorry for the new moms that has to read those garbage when they’re panicking. Thanks for writing this, let’s hope there’s going to be a forum for normal people some day.
Jennifer Anne Carmichael
Sunday, 17 May, 2015 at 18:57I always thought the DH was the acronym for dumb husband I don’t know why I thought that I guess it’s because they were always bitching about their husbands
JadeLily
Monday, 18 May, 2015 at 15:00Thank you!!! You Are Freaking Awesome! Made my day.
Kim
Tuesday, 19 May, 2015 at 18:36Thank you for this post. I thought I was going crazy. Some people are obsessed with every freakin’ thing so it made me wonder if I should worry about every single thing. Most of them write like high schoolers. I get confused how these women are the same age group as me, or even older.
The acronyms make it worse and really annoys me. I felt like I was in a new universe. Is it that hard to type words, even on your phone? Most phones have autocorrect. Glad to hear it’s mainly a baby center thing. I haven’t used other forums as of yet. There are some nice tips that the baby center sends by email so it’s not all bad, but the forums can sometimes be too much to handle.
There are too many TMI posts (a warning would have helped). Some people obsess too much on taking pregnancy tests every day! Aren’t two tests at home and one at the doctors enough? Those tests are not cheap. Some first time moms were celebrating “Mother’s Day” during their first trimester. I felt so confused why. I’m more worried that the baby will survive. Some people will do anything to spoil themselves. The posts about gender parties made me wonder if I need one as well. Now I don’t see a point.
I’m only at 7 weeks but I’m going to stop worrying so much unless I’m severly hurt or cramping and bleeding massively. I won’t shop for baby stuff until I’m well along the way. Thank you for making me feel better about this life changing process.
FTM Lady
Thursday, 18 June, 2015 at 19:35I’m seriously starting to think at least half of the members of those groups are just Catfishing each other. Every time I sign in I think, why am I doing this to myself? No more!
Jenna
Saturday, 27 June, 2015 at 3:02Agree completely. My daughter is a little over a week old now and I learned VERY fast how to wade through the crazies and find people who gave serious, relevant answers that I could MAYBE relate to, instead of scare-mongering and offering stupid advice like a pack of dillweeds. They’re out of their minds! And the acronyms just make me fucking crazy.
I just randomly stumbled on your blog when I was looking up sleep training stuff, it’s now bookmarked. 🙂
Leona
Wednesday, 1 July, 2015 at 18:06I’m glad so many others find this acronym business to be ridiculous. I was reading a health article and in the comments a women responded with something like “DH and I did BD and now I don’t like broccoli, could I be pregnant” or some other sort of ridiculousness that prompted me to look up “BD”. It means “baby dance”. An acronym for a G rated euphemism. I flagged the post as offensive because if you can’t talk about sex and reproduction luke an adult, you shouldn’t be having children.
Sarah
Tuesday, 7 July, 2015 at 14:42Almost pee’d myself reading this. Soo thought the same.
Acronyms WHAT A JOKE!!! Why where we taught to read amd write?????
And that Babycenter……. Are people really that stupid??? How half of them managed to concieve is even beyond me.
Is this walking? – hello is one foot moving in front of other one repeatly then hell yes!
And then they even ask a question and say “Soz TMI” – if its too much info then why the hell are you sharing it with strangers and the world. ??
Just think its full of lazy, lonely people who clearly are not looking after their “babies” because they are too busy answering shitty questions like “Am i pregnant” – well lets hope not because if you cant do a test or book a drs appointment then what chamce does a child you bring into the world have….
PMSL ?
Renea
Wednesday, 22 July, 2015 at 15:25Sarah…Hi-five, girl!!!! But, I think the new and improved acronym, TMI, stands for Too Many Idiots (these days anyhow), and not so much, Too Much Info…at least for the “baby center” being referred to here!!! LOL!!! The women on that blog are some of the silliest women I’ve ever come across!!! And you gotta wonder just how mentally stable some of them are to be giving birth, ya know?!!! HA!!
Jamie
Saturday, 25 July, 2015 at 8:28I am so glad you’ve procreated, but mostly I’m so glad you exist.
heather
Wednesday, 29 July, 2015 at 17:38but I *really* enjoyed being pregnant with an English Hothouse Cucumber.
Kate
Tuesday, 4 August, 2015 at 1:49Hahahaha, this is so funny and I completely agree. Some of these women ttc (yup there’s another one for ya….trying to conceive by the way) are absolutely bat sh*t crazy….there’s one that actually should be an acronym….”so I went bsc and did the bd and now I think I have a bfp but the line is really faint but my cm is brownish yellow and….” I’m sorry your what? My cervical mucus. Oh….right, so. Wayyyy too much information when some woman begins telling the world what colour mucus is leaking out of her nether regions…honestly what is up with these women? I’ve been trying for a baby for two years now, and yes I’ve had a look at these websites but mostly I think half of these women are deranged and don’t really need babies, and babies really don’t need them. Thank you for verbalising how I’ve been feeling reading some of the stuff out there, that just, well, shouldn’t be out there.
Cheryl
Sunday, 9 August, 2015 at 4:13Thank god you wrote this. I joined babycenter and was just hoping I wasn’t the last spl (sane person left, if we are randomly making up abbreviations for shit that doesn’t matter)
Ra
Wednesday, 9 September, 2015 at 14:53You just don’t know…. I could hug you. No really. Cause all this shit cray. I don’t even SAY cray, but this here is cray cray. It’s even WORSE when you’re trying to have a baby! (no my bad, TTC). Off the charts bananas.
Thank you for being sane.
Leann
Thursday, 22 October, 2015 at 4:30This is so how I feel about “Mom” or “Parent” message boards. The first time I read one and was flumaxed by all the needless acronyms, I just wanted to scream to everyone, and noone, “Just say the fucking words!” Ha. Anyway, good read, and entertaining blog. I look forward to reading more!
Leah
Friday, 30 October, 2015 at 6:53I loved this. Explained exactly how I feel. Quite a funny read. You should write a book! The damn truth about pregnancy – you would have one purchaser right here.
RJ
Friday, 30 October, 2015 at 22:18I’m looking at a bunch of sites, (I like Mothering best) and the acronym thing is driving me nuts. It can also be funny, though. I kept seeing FTM and getting all up in arms when people were using feminine pronouns. (“My friend is a FTM and she…”) I’m genderqueer, and my husband is Female To Male, so that’s where my mind went. Then I was like, maybe it means full time mom? Isn’t everyone a full time mom? Thanks for the explanation.
Heather
Sunday, 1 November, 2015 at 0:24Right! Had to look up what DS meant and came along this website. I had to because all I could come up with was Dip Shit and couldn’t stop laughing even though I knew it wasn’t that lol acronyms at least we all know wtf means!
Blah
Saturday, 28 November, 2015 at 15:27Babycenter.com is one of the worst, most obnoxious websites I have been to in a long, long time. Rude and abusive. Forget the acronyms, these people are horrible. God help their children.
Babycenter refugee
Monday, 7 December, 2015 at 7:18The acronyms are bad enough, but the people. OMG! I can even handle the stupid, but the abuse is off the hook. Talk about cyber mobs. I am not convinced most of these women are even pregnant, mothers, or women for that matter.
You cannot call someone a troll (fair enough) but you can roundabout call her a c*nt, a BEC (B*tch eating crackers)a w*ore, etc, etc. And the gif memes are beyond obnoxious at this point. The comment threads (take a look at the “debate team” sometime)are mostly nothing but random attacks on random people for random reasons.
The mods are ridiculous. I saw one post based on a Stephen King short (Morality). The title of the thread is (you can still see it online along with the obnoxious comments) “Would you punch a random kid in the face for $220,000 dollars?” The post goes on to say it has to be a small child and must draw blood. The comments, as expected on such a crummy abusive website go on to say things like “It depends, does the @sshole’s face need punching?” “I’d do it for nothing”, “buy the kid a toy after and he’ll be fine” etc.
This is a website for pregnant women? Mothers? Families? Johnson & Johnson needs to reign it in; it is a disgusting example of the downfall of a nation and i’st absence of decency and common sense.
Nimmo
Monday, 7 December, 2015 at 8:38Lol.. Funny read.
Anna
Wednesday, 9 December, 2015 at 23:35I am not and have never been pregnant yet. However, my husband and I will try to conceive next year, in 2016. Fingers crossed for us! 🙂
I really enjoyed this article. I have checked out BabyCenter and I got to say it did not seem like a nice place at all. Besides asking pretty obvious and sometimes weird things, for most pregnant women Baby Center is nothing but a big competition. Who gets pregnant faster, who gains the least weight, who feels the first kick sooner, who has more money to buy cute baby stuff, etc. These kind of things are just not my cup of tea. Plus, if I have questions about my pregnancy, I will ask a doctor, not random people on the internet.
Geez Louise
Friday, 11 December, 2015 at 9:58🙂 Thank you for this.
I posted on BabyCenter yesterday because I’m feeling down about nobody (as in, my own parents and grandparents) getting anything for my baby. I’m watching baby showers left and right, even attended one, and nobody has thought to throw me one. I honestly thought that’s how it went.
When I posted, I asked how to deal with feeling left out. Because it feels that way. I was called a spoiled, selfish brat. I was told that I sounded like a highschool kid who didn’t get what they wanted for their birthday. Women assumed that I needed people to buy me things. That I expected everyone else to take care of my baby. One woman actually said that I’m probably about 20 and grew up with “16 and Pregnant,” and I can only see gifts, not my baby.
I responded like I would have had it been in person, “Who are you to judge me?” And I told one lady that she is the type of woman I’d like to run over with my car. 😀 The Group Owner deleted my comment, then proceeded to bash me and tell me that I was “flipping out.” She back and forthed, insulted me, was completely condescending… I just left my own post alone, because every time I left a comment, she commented back.
I went there for support during a pretty tough moment, and most of what I got were off the wall insults. The members told me that I must believe that support means “agree with everything I say or ill
Geez Louise
Friday, 11 December, 2015 at 10:05🙂 Thank you for this.
I posted on BabyCenter yesterday because I’m feeling down about nobody (as in, my own parents and grandparents) getting anything for my baby. I’m watching baby showers left and right, even attended one, and nobody has thought to throw me one. I honestly thought that’s how it went.
When I posted, I asked how to deal with feeling left out. Because it feels that way. I was called a spoiled, selfish brat. I was told that I sounded like a highschool kid who didn’t get what they wanted for their birthday. Women assumed that I needed people to buy me things. That I expected everyone else to take care of my baby. One woman actually said that I’m probably about 20 and grew up with “16 and Pregnant,” and I can only see gifts, not my baby.
I responded like I would have had it been in person, “Who are you to judge me?” And I told one lady who was completely rude that she is the type of woman I’d like to run over with my car. 😀 The Group Owner deleted my comment, then proceeded to bash me and tell me that I was “flipping out.” She back and forthed, insulted me, was completely condescending… I just left my own post alone, because every time I left a comment, she commented back. She deleted a lot of my comments because she didn’t agree with them. No moderators should be able to get in the conversation and start insulting people.
I went there for support during a pretty tough moment, and most of what I got were off the wall insults. The members told me that I must believe that support means “agree with everything I say or else.” I thought support meant, “help another when they’re down,” not, “push them down further to make ourselves feel better.”
Needless to say, I doubt I’ll be back. Those women are fucking crazy. They antagonize, then tell you that you can just ignore them. I’m like… Why can’t they just not respond? Ick.
Daniella
Saturday, 3 September, 2016 at 10:44I know this is bullying people, so sorry for that
Cecile
Saturday, 12 December, 2015 at 11:24Sometimes too much reading and surfing about parenting causes anxiety. Now that you’re becoming a mom, trust on your instinct (mothers instinct)
Emmanuel
Friday, 15 January, 2016 at 20:01I am a DH hahaha, thanks for this page, now I know what those Acronym means on those forums…
Audra
Friday, 5 February, 2016 at 10:39This is the best pregnancy related blog/post/article that I have read IN MY LIFE! I haven’t laughed so much in a while. TY!!!! I had to. =)
Kimberly
Monday, 8 February, 2016 at 3:25Hell yeah! Finally,real moms!!! Hahaha! Damn baby center,and them “perfect” moms to be always saying shit I can’t understand, trying to make others feel inadequate! This is my 4th baby I’m trying to talk out,and honestly, till just now,had no fucking clue what those women were talking about! Had no clue what DD was! (I googled it and found this post) guess what I’m really try to say is just, thank you! Thank you for keeping it real! The only real use I’ve found for baby center is to compare answers to questions like,when you’re water breaks,does it smell?? Still,some of these answers seem to be completely useless. If I counted on them….I’d probably still be sitting here when this baby decided to come out going”nah,the hospital will just send me home if I rush up there.” Hahaha! Bad advice center is what it should be called. I once looked up,can I take Tylenol pm during 3rd trimester? And found an answer similar to this…”Tylenol pm is not medically recommended during pregnancy,but if your having trouble sleeping due to pain,you can try codine.” Wtf? Codine??? Really???? Anywho,again,thank you. Hahahaha!
Caro
Tuesday, 16 February, 2016 at 9:32Emphatically: Thank You!
Meg
Tuesday, 1 March, 2016 at 0:29Thanks for this post!! I could not agree more! Not only were all the acronyms annoying, but I was frequently attacked or insulted by trolls over nothing. I made a post about how my reproductive system is unique in response to some other comment. Literally 20 + comments from trolls angry at me for saying that I was in some way different from them. I have reproductive issues, I’m allowed to say it if I damn well please! I doubt half of the people there are human beings, because they act completely soulless and abusive. A few normal, polite and mature people, but over half the commenters were trollish assholes. In fact I believe that was the last comment I made. Babycenter still a group of trollish assholes? *cue bat shit crazy comments* YUP! Hahahahaha!
MaceT
Tuesday, 5 April, 2016 at 13:28I strongly suspect that many of the posters on babycenter are not who are what they appear to be. I believe some of them may be planted there to simply stir up trouble and drama, although I am not sure why. For one thing, I don’t see how any parent of young children could be online all day and night. But some of these babycenter posters were posting 24 hours a day on a regular basis. I also believe that whoever owns or manages the site could potentially be very vindictive and I feel I’m taking a certain risk just by posting about them online. I was stalked and felt threatened on the site, and I do not trust them at all.
Carol Anne
Tuesday, 1 March, 2016 at 2:39After looking something up in the Baby Center Forum, I googled, “baby forum for people who aren’t stupid” and your blog was the first search result! Enough said… 🙂 Thank you very much… and if you know of a baby forum for people who aren’t stupid, please let me know. A grade 10 level of knowledge of human biology would suffice for instance…
With Child
Saturday, 13 August, 2016 at 4:26Did you ever end up finding a forum for sane, intelligent people? Looking for one now, which is how I stumbled on this site!
Daniella
Saturday, 3 September, 2016 at 10:38Me too am searching for women of faith, people who bilieveatleastbilieve so that I wont be told that am rude for praying for people.
Indirect Libre
Thursday, 3 March, 2016 at 7:19I don’t have the WORDS for how much I needed to read this. (Maybe there’s an acronym for this feeling? Ha!) I’ve had a baby for almost 5 mo. which means that I’ve been on babycenter for, like, a gazillion months. And I only today googled “What do DD and DS mean?” I. Almost. Yakked into my coffeecup. Seriously.
The acronyms are annoying, but they a small factor of the “I’m not part of the club” mindboggle that happens whenever I’m on the internet. The one question I’ve ever wanted to crowdsource on babycenter is: “FTM here! Will my 3 mo. old be traumatized by the number of times I scream the word “FUCK” into a pillow at 4:17am? Is there an acceptable number of times to scream “FUCK” into a pillow? It’s a really cute cuddly pillow from Anthrpologie that just so totally goes with our “African safari” nursery theme. So I’m not sure that makes a difference… Thanks ladies!”
Would LOVE to see the response that gets… 😉
LadyAilish
Tuesday, 8 March, 2016 at 16:55Thank you for this! I’ve only been on Baby Centre a couple of times- linked there from google, and was annoyed at my lack of knowledge on the acronyms as I try to ‘keep up’ with todays short messaging in order to understand peoples text these days. Your post had me laughing so much because of it’s truthful bluntness I had to make a few runs to the ladies. Thank you, I really needed the laugh.
MaceT
Tuesday, 5 April, 2016 at 13:18They use acronyms on babycenter as well as all kinds of stupid names that may not mean anything to anyone else. You are a “unicorn” if you try to defend someone who is being bullied on the site. Its a group of overgrown high school girls who are not mature, adult women. I’d say most of them have no social life at all, outside of internet message boards. Some live on these boards, and volunteer as group moderators, posting all day long, day after day. My best guess is they don’t have a career or spend any time with their kids, nor do they have the money to travel or go anywhere. So they sit online all day. Their site allows indirect personal attacks on other board members, So you can say nasty, horrible things about a poster as long as you aren’t posting directly to them. People will also follow you around, digging up your posts on other sites, and will make screen shots of your posts elsewhere and follow you around posting it back to you. One of their “rules” is that you cannot ask someone to stop bothering you. Which enables bullying to continue on and on. I think Johnson & Johnson owns or is affiliated with the site? I am not sure, but it really should be shut down altogether. Any company should be ashamed to be associated with something like this. Its a cesspool of angry, bitter, immature women who love to tear each other down. I just joined it recently, now I am doing all I can to get my profile deleted and out of there permanently.
Yoya
Monday, 30 May, 2016 at 11:25Apparently I’m “known for replying to others” (lol) because I correct blatant misinformation. Facts are mean y’all, didn’t you know?! Some idjit posted that doctors “don’t do anything” if you have a miscarriage before 20 weeks “because of abortion laws”. I felt the need to correct this ridonculous statement and apparently I now have a “reputation”.
Cait
Thursday, 21 April, 2016 at 15:33This is the best thing I’ve ever read. I’m 2 weeks away from my due date and everything is irritating me beyond belief, except for this. Wading through articles chock full of stupid, mostly unnecessary acronyms is my number one annoyance.
Samantha
Sunday, 29 May, 2016 at 20:27You are hilarious!!!!! I love how straight up honest you are. I agree with you on many levels! Love this blog!! ????????
MrsB
Monday, 13 June, 2016 at 17:35Do you want to know how I found this blog? I googled “websites like babycenter that are not babycenter” in an attempt to find a nicer place to share my pregnancy ! And here I am! Just nodding and agreeing with you. After being attacked over a harmless post just looking for advice, I have deleted the Apps from my devices. I will not be logging back in. I was called by one women a narcissistic nightmare and others called me selfish, self centered, and also diagnosed me with multiple disorders. You can’t even make this stuff up. I enjoyed babycenter for a while but the birth club I was associated with is a complete SHIT show. I used to creep and read the crazy posts. Then I become the object of everyone else’s creeping/bullying. Let me tell you it doesn’t feel good. These women are not building you up. They are drooling pitbulls sitting behind monitors waiting to attack. It’s disgusting. The fact that babycenter makes “guidelines” is a joke. They sit back and watch women get backed into corners and practically harassed. My other issue is that you can’t even delete your post. When you’ve decided you’ve had enough you can delete what you said but the post/comments stay. And when you get caught deleting your words.. Get ready for a whole other can of whoop ass from these ladies. You’ve now just performed a “dirty delete”. Clearly you can hang with these ladies if that’s the case ! Good riddance babycenter.
Eliza
Wednesday, 22 June, 2016 at 19:59The same thing happened to me on What To Expect! When I didn’t understand a posters reply she told me I had poor comprehension and must have mental problems? Her syntax was horrible, it was an honest request for clarification on my part. I also feel like the ones who post early make their clique and it’s like middle school via the Internet all over again!
Daniella
Saturday, 3 September, 2016 at 10:40I made a comment and had a few spelling mistakes now everyone is making fun of it but I chose to ignore because am pregnant, and I want a healthy pregnancy
Kate
Monday, 20 June, 2016 at 14:37Yeah, stay off Babycenter. You can post something completely innocuous and people make fun of you because it’s a bunch of bored b****s with nothing better to do all day than sit at the computer. Maybe if they’d put some time into raising their kids instead of bullying strangers they wouldn’t have so much to complain about. You could blame it on hormones but half these people aren’t even pregnant (Debate team boards, etc.) they just have nothing better to do. I’ve been in some great forum communities that really get it right and are supportive of each other, but since babycenter is all women everyone thinks its okay to be hateful to each other, stalk each other, and act like complete psychopaths. No thanks! Why do women do this to each other? It’s asinine.
Eliza
Wednesday, 22 June, 2016 at 19:55I completely agree. The “Hot Topics” board on What to Expect is just a cess pool of mean girl behavior. I deleted the app and I will never go back.
Eliza
Wednesday, 22 June, 2016 at 19:54Wow. I really needed to read this tonight even though it was posted awhile ago.
I will never log onto BabyCenter but the WTE (apologies for the acronym…) boards are full of vile, vicious women. I actually wonder if the really mean ones even do have children. I noticed the biggest bully’s time stamps span the entire day. She claims to be a stay at home mom (refusing to type SAHM) so who is watching her kid if she’s always writing hateful comments from 8-4?
I googled “what to expect boards are insane” and this came up! Divine intervention? I think so.
Tiana
Monday, 4 July, 2016 at 6:58Found out I was pregnant five days ago, and just stumbled on this post after leaving BabyCenter to search for “pregnancy sites for sane people” (which I realize is ableist, and I myself am mentally ill, apologies!). Thank you for this post, I knew I couldn’t be the only one whose eyes were strained from all of the rolling.
Ann
Tuesday, 5 July, 2016 at 19:25Thank you, although I know it’s been a while since you’ve posted this. I have my first 9 month old, and my husband and I were looking up something online the other day for advice and we got tired even if looking because of all the stupid acronyms to decipher. Anymore, if I read DD or DH, I just stop reading.
jo
Wednesday, 27 July, 2016 at 9:24this is the best!! i’m not even a mom – i’m a physician and i sometimes go on babycenter to see what my patients are reading – and came across this the first time time i was trying to figure out what the hell DH meant. THANK YOU
5timeMom
Monday, 3 October, 2016 at 12:06Mother of five here. I just wanted to say that I loved this post and you had me laughing out loud!
Katherine
Sunday, 1 January, 2017 at 9:42I don’t know. I could not have survived my son’s diagnosis without the help of Spina Bifida Kids. Seriously I found that helpful very helpful.
Katherine
Sunday, 1 January, 2017 at 9:43Daughter sorry.
Miranda Rhys-Jones
Friday, 14 April, 2017 at 12:43I came here from Food.com because THEY used DH and I thought it was some FOOD thing v_v le sigh…
Eve Inbetta
Sunday, 21 May, 2017 at 2:42Bahaha. Love this!
Siena
Tuesday, 6 June, 2017 at 4:19You. I like you.
Just wanted to led you know that well over three years later this post is still making people chuckle and scream ‘YES EXACTLY’ at their computers.
I only just found out I’m pregnant and was hoping to find a nice place to chat about it, as I don’t want to share it with my real life friends and family yet. Thank you for saving me from joining Babycenter!
ps. Any tips on good, nice message boards are very welcome!
Michelley
Tuesday, 8 August, 2017 at 14:55I was on Bargain Hunters and the posters were attacking a woman who was still in the hospital and had just given birth. They were attacking her for saying some things that (understandably, given her situation) sounded irrational. The nasty moderators do nothing. If you report one of their bullies, they’ll issue a “vio” to you. I have started going on babycenter and defending people they attack, and this upsets them more than anything. One of the mods had a meltdown about it, “who are you? Why are you here?”
The regular posters on Babycenter are horrible and enjoy harassing and insulting other women. It scares me to think I might even know some of these women, or that they might be moms at my child’s school.
The fact is, though, we don’t know who these people really are.
Kiwi
Thursday, 17 August, 2017 at 14:13I. LOVE. YOU. I have been on forums, websites, babycenter, what have you and everything else with all these silly acronyms just trying to get advice and talk to other mothers about my “bad” days. I can tell you I felt left out, ridiculed, or bullied because I did not follow the “status quo”. Your post has been such a blessing (and I am not even religious!). Being a first time mom (yeah, I spelled that shit out lol) has been so hard between my MIL being way different than me and my mother passing away. These forums are nothing but parents letting out pent up frustration and you certainly made me feel better. I did not care about anything but my son and if he was healthy. He slept in a damn rocker for 5 MONTHS and then we got a hand me down crib. He has never had a theme and everything is practically hand me downs. He doesn’t care. Neither do I. He is healthy and happy and that is all that matters. Boy I though I was going crazy with all the posts I was reading and this made me feel sane again. And yes, I even posted about the month where he just drove me NUTS crying from 2 a.m.-4 or even 6 a.m. with mommy close to passing out and screaming FUCK IT into my pillow because I just wanted to sleep. Was called a bad mother and everything else under the sun. No, I was just a tired mommy and was hoping someone would RELATE to my struggles. Yikes. Never posted anything again. Do not even get me started on the breastfeeding post when I asked about switching to formula. Ugh. Anyway, to sum it up. Breath of fresh air and now I no longer feel like a freak.
Trishia
Saturday, 19 August, 2017 at 12:59This made me feel a thousand times better. I like your way of thinking:)
Nova Dames
Friday, 8 September, 2017 at 22:37Omg this post hit the nail on the head!! Sick of the acronyms!!!
BabycenterSucksAss
Friday, 6 October, 2017 at 13:13Omg. Preach. Every time someone is happy that they made it to 8 weeks and saw a strong heartbeat, the BabyCenter Debbie Downers show up with : “well, I had a perfect heartbeat too, but then miscarried at 10 weeks! I had no symptoms! It can happen to you too! Do you should be scared shitless unless the 2nd trimester ” and some other nutjob chimes in “Getting past the first trimester doesn’t mean you can relax. I was 16 weeks with a textbook pregnancy and suddenly miscarried. There is only a 1% chance it wont happen to you also”. Then Debbie Downer #3 adds to the original poster’s fear “I saw a heartbeat at 8, 12 and 14 weeks. Then miscarried triplets out of nowhere. I also got diagnosed with uterine cancer, and they also found an ectopic pregnancy in each fallopion tube, so I had to remove both my ovaries too. You are nowhere near safe at 8 weeks with a heartbeat”
Really? Fuck off BabyCenter. You are hell on earth.
The Only Man Commenting?
Saturday, 28 October, 2017 at 22:32So glad to see this post to come up when I googled “WTF is the deal with all these annoying abbreviations on parenting sites?” They’re annoying, aggravating, and obnoxiously saccharine. But hey, just to get in the spirit of acronyms my fantasy is to go on to one of these parenting sites and talk obsessively about my child using the acronym PITA which stands for the more honest and less reverent “Pain In The Ass.” What sort of reaction do you suppose I’ll get? 🙂
Just need to post this...
Saturday, 16 December, 2017 at 3:52And all this time I thought DH stood for “Dick Head” or “Dumb Husband “. I hate those message boards in babycenter, full Of self righteous idiots who Just love to brag and hear themselves talk.
Scott Manuel
Saturday, 24 March, 2018 at 18:32No matter how you give birth (c-section or va-j-j) you will have postpartum bleeding.
taia
Wednesday, 11 July, 2018 at 23:06Ok chick, where were you when I was preggo and freakin’ out?!? Eh, oh well. I some how survived and so did the kids so… all is good.
BTW, my kiddos “nursery” was beside my bed for all 3. First one, I bought baby decor, realized how stupid it looked in an adult room and sold it. Didn’t bother with the other 2.
Agapegraced
Saturday, 27 October, 2018 at 14:27I haven’t laughed so hard at online content thank you so much your blog lives on to gives us life those who cringe at a gender reveal party and a baby shower WHY! I had a family member grow so angry your 6 weeks why haven’t you announced, well you make no sense what type of person reveals a gender in a baby shower? I would say a normal woman who barely wants to deal with belly rubs. My goodness get a boy or girl fondant baby on the cake gender revealed your welcome LOL.This is all so true and the second you call the “douche” moms a torch carrying mob, they grow innocent not understanding how you could say such a thing. Baby center has to be some of the most closed minded women I have come across, its always about the baby. Come on all pregnancies will not be viable and that is okay and this is when women need “support” . I hate the post that everyone holds hope too and never will state the obvious You have had to full blown cycles ran through 2 boxes of super tampons thats not spotting, and 5 negative pregnancy test your symptoms point more so towards a infection . I appreciate reading post from normal moms, lets not mention the closet atheist who HATE anyone that mutters prayer and faith. So no one can have faith its all about science I’m reading their profile and have no idea its like kids=3 failed blastocyst, 1 transfer, 3 zygotes. WTH ? they are not finish guys DS,DSS,DSD. I was hit by the angry trolls no one ever considered any other alternative to my post at all let me stop my rant and just appreciate all the post on renegademothering . ????
Agapegraced
Saturday, 27 October, 2018 at 15:52I also remember the looks from my babies doctor when I refused to switch her to whole milk , like if you write it on sticky note and press it on the milestone pamphlet I was sure to change my mind. The daycare who I assume got some type of milk subsidy also went in on me
My child is now 4 and she has grown just fine without WHOLE MILK she is a very bright girl and yes she had a blanket and pillow in her crib and took a hard fall out my bed sleeping with me as an infant . The nurses had to be some of the realist chicks out there I was so nervous having to admit that my 8 month old had slept in the bed they were like” you have no clue how hard their heads are she looks find to us we doubt doctor will scan her brain for injuries”
Sara
Friday, 2 November, 2018 at 7:03Lol.my baby is 7 wks and now I just go there to see ladies bitch about their mils????????
Peter
Wednesday, 14 November, 2018 at 12:45Thanks for writing this, came to your website because i was trying to figger out acronyms on mums net!I thought i was the only one who was tired of all the fucking stupid cutesy abreviations for christ sake, plus not everyone raising kids is female,they can be more inclusive with their title.
Jessica
Friday, 28 December, 2018 at 13:02I love you!!! Thank you for writing this!! I just had an awful experience in BabyCenter and I thought “is it me? Am I the one that is wrong?” Good lord almost everyone in there has a Ph D in obstetrics and/or pediatric medicine! You dare to comment and they chew your head off! I was just looking for a place were we can share some, be empathetic, laugh some or be honest about how f*** hard this parenting thinh is! I’m no first time mom, but it is my first time on BabyCenter and I had a rude awakening! I’m so happy I found your post!! Thank you for your honesty!
Sunny
Sunday, 6 January, 2019 at 21:45Oh man, I had to delete BabyCenter for my mental wellbeing. I posted one thing and the crazies came for me in full force. I realized some of them think it’s their jobs to troll the site. How much time do they have on their hands anyway? Oh, and if you call someone out for trolling, YOU are the one who gets a warning? Neat! Even the people who run it are insane. Adios BabyCenter, and all the drama involved!
Kitkat
Monday, 4 February, 2019 at 2:16Im so glad to be out of Baby Centre. The negativity was unreal and they loved a bit of new mum bashing especially if they admitted to enjoying motherhood.
Lots of issues created or stirred up but very few resolved on there.
Tess H.
Wednesday, 6 February, 2019 at 16:21There is a poster on babycenter named graceless_lady and when she becomes inflamed, she’ll say things like “your children shouldn’t have been born.” She’s a real piece of work. They haven’t banned her of course.
There are still tons of crazy women posting their gifs all over the birth boards.
Mary
Wednesday, 24 April, 2019 at 15:26I was glad to hear that I am not the only one who gets annoyed by this. I have been trying to have a baby for a very long time now, (on and off for the last 18 years) so I have had a lot of experience with this and all sorts of other pregnancy boards. At first I was so confused when I visited them. I had no idea what any one was talking about, yet every single person sounded like a clone of the next. You could not tell if they have an individual personality or they just all merged into one crazy pregnant lady. It’s hard hearing people be so dramatic about not being able to have their 5th child, like their other 4 children don’t exist, when you have had trouble having one. Another girl told me she was mocked the other day for having a miscarriage. She said they told her, haha you lost your baby and I didn’t.” What kind of jerk mocks someone who is grieving by sending them a private message just to hurt them? It’s definitely a nightmare. Luckily the group I’m on has pretty sensitive people on it because they are all using fertility drugs and/or doing in vitro and interuertine insemination.
Anonny
Sunday, 2 June, 2019 at 16:41Message boards everywhere are vicious toxic vats of shaming, judging, consumerism, and narcissism. I can’t even delete my account on an app I was using. Social media is supposed to bring people together to talk but it’s just a bullying tool.
Trisha Lunde
Friday, 19 July, 2019 at 16:57Pretty sure I got kicked out of the community part of baby center…. Didn’t know they were THAT sensetive… I mean come on… How can I not troll just a little tiny bit when they make a 50 trillion word post about “unacceptable comments” explaining hate speach and what constitutes a “violation”?! It was sooooo long and soooo whiny. Such whimps… I’m a very sensetive lady but I would never make a public forum website and just cater to any psychotic lady that just NEEDS someone who disagrees with them to be shamed and kept from having a voice because they are terrified of someone agreeing with that person. If you’re so damn right then you shouldn’t care if someone who is soooo wrong is saying opposite things!!!
Grace D
Sunday, 28 July, 2019 at 16:51Omg HATE THE ACRONYMS!
Ben Lowe
Thursday, 26 March, 2020 at 9:33Yeah I have to agree lmao
Roxanne
Wednesday, 1 April, 2020 at 6:27OMG! Where was this when I was going through my pregnancy hahaha
This is everything ♡ Thank you for putting out there what a good majority of us are thinking. Hell, I still feel like there are some that just have too much time in their hands and have nothing better to do than scroll through posts and give their judgy opinions. Most go to that site to get advice and feel apart of a bigger sisterhood – not to be torn down or made to feel like a complete idiot. That’s what family is for right!? 😉
Anyways.. thank you for being a breath of fresh air ♡
CynicalMum
Sunday, 10 May, 2020 at 23:29So happy I found this! I thought it was only me! I get so pissed off with all the mind numbing subjects women want to post about on the forums. “Show is your shopping spree” -Who cares?
“Guess the gender for the 100000th time from this picture” – Just Do a Harmony test and leave us alone
“Did you tell your husband what you wanted for Mother’s Day or did you leave it up to him?” – Wow materialistic much?
Is it just me that wants to post/read about educational stuff or things that truly matter such as dealing with all the changes in your body? Unfortunately it seems like the minority of subjects on baby Center nowadays
Danielle Stovall
Thursday, 2 July, 2020 at 2:43I am so happy to read all these and not feel so alone! I thought I was going crazy when I saw that everyone else was so accepting of how rude or flat out cruel some people were being! (Mostly trolls) Not thrilled about the wide use of acronyms either but the lack of respect bothers me a whole lot more!
Desiree Wise
Tuesday, 4 August, 2020 at 6:48Seriously I JUST deleted babycenter because apparently I don’t have the same opinions as everyone
Yeahreally
Monday, 17 May, 2021 at 13:15Very trollish women. But have a little compassion for them. They have no hobbies, probably never travel or do anything interesting in their lives, one of the GOs on Bargain Hunters has been there for FIFTEEN YEARS if you can imagine that. What a waste of a life.
Mommietwingirls
Wednesday, 26 May, 2021 at 18:00I was a mod, they banned me. I issued vios all day long as part of my job and I had nothing else to do with my life, so it was sad when I was banned. They will never realized what a truly important job I had to do or appreciate anything I did. I handed out vios to anyone who complained about my homie mean girls clique. I know I should get back to my soap operas but I don’t have anything else to do right now so I’m down in depression at this point in my life.
SmellyGoats
Wednesday, 9 February, 2022 at 20:24Yes it is a bad site. I was there a lot, I used to post there all day. Got the weird feeling I was being stalked and then another poster told me my kids were lazy for not working jobs in the summer. I was accused of being a troll just because I posted a lot. So I just wiped my entire posting history. I am so freaking done with that place. Maybe it was time I got a new hobby anyway.