Welcome to yet another FTM Friday post on Saturday, after a 5-week hiatus. Yay!
Anyway, as you may know, back in January I set out on my chemical-free body care quest. Most of it has gone well. Two areas of have not gone well: Hair and armpits.
Not my hair in my armpits. I deal with that little problem just fine using a few small blades.
The hair on my head is problem #1. I tried substituting baking soda and apple cider vinegar for shampoo/conditioner and it was a disaster for 2 months. I’ll revisit that attempt when I’ve got a little more time.
Disaster number 2 was deodorant. I’ve tried so many goddamn deodorant recipes. I mean a lot, people. At least ten. My results fell into two categories:
- Deodorant did not work and I smelled like a dirty ass hippie after a Phish show.
- Deodorant worked beautifully but gave me a horrendous rash.
I’ve tried clay, baking soda, arrowroot powder. I’ve tried probiotics. I’ve tried shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, aloe gel and ever combination of the above. I’ve tried every fathomable combination of essential oils. People have told me I should become a vegan and I won’t need deodorant. Yeah, sorry. Not that committed.
Everything I made, EVERYTHING, fell into one of the two categories.
Until now.
Two weeks ago, my dear friend Theresa posted something on Facebook that changed my life. Well, as far as armpits go. Not only does it work (read: I am not stank ass), it is cheap, VERY CHEAP, and about as natural as it comes.
Honestly, it almost pisses me off, it’s so simple. I really wanted to discover the perfect deodorant recipe and feel all badass telling you about it, but alas, one more Janelle failure for the books.
You know what works better than anything I’ve ever used?
A FUCKING LEMON.
Yes, that’s right. LEMON.
Not lemon plus arrowroot powder and shea butter and whatever the hell, just lemon. As in, cut a slice of lemon and rub it on your pits and move on.
Not only do I not stink all day, I don’t stink in the morning when I wake up.
I don’t have any rash ever.
And I know I’m not hurting my body.
I can’t believe it, still. No joke, this works better than ANY deodorant I’ve ever used in my life, even the chemical-ridden ones.
Never going back, people.
And every morning, when I rub lemon on my armpits (yes, it stings a little if you it after shaving), I think to myself “You are a total fucking hippie, Janelle, but at least you don’t smell like one.”
And then somehow I feel better.
