I can’t believe how long it’s been since we’ve had a wtf? Wednesday, in which we celebrate the cute, slightly alarming things the kids say. My bad.
Anyhoo, here we go…
+++
Looking at a full moon recently, Rocket says “the dark spots are big holes. I know that because my teachers taught me.” And we all go wild in encouragement, telling him how smart that is, etc., and he responds “Yeah. I don’t just think about poop all the time.”
+++
So I was doing what I thought was a riveting rendition of “Girls just wanna have fun” while folding a pile of laundry larger than a Prius (appreciating the sweet irony of the moment) and Ava looks at me with disdain, with that “you’re such an idiot” face…and she says, kind of under her breath but clearly audible “I really hope daddy’s genes are stronger than yours.”
+++
Rocket: “Mama, if I counted every day for the rest of my life, how long would it take me to reach infinity?”
Me: “you can’t reach infinity. Infinity never ends. It goes on forever and ever and ever.”
Rocket, walking off: “Oh. Kinda like God.”
[I include the God comments because they trip me out, because they come out of nowhere…as if they know something I don’t.]
+++
At a stoplight, Ava says “Mama, I just gave that lady in the car next to us my ‘dragon face.’ The way I do it is I flare my nostrils and make a chipmunk mouth, and I think I look a little like a rabbid squirrel.”
I respond “That’s nice. I bet she appreciated that.”
And Ava says “Yeah, I know I would.”
++++
And here is the granddaddy WTF? moment…
As Rocket, Georgia and I are lying in bed together, I can see that Rocket may be getting kicked, so I ask “Rocket, is Georgia kicking you?”
And he answers, laughing, “Yes, she’s kicking me right in my bald spot!” And since our heads are all together, I deduce that there’s no way Georgia’s feet are kicking him in the head, so I ask “Oh, where’s your ‘bald spot?’ And he points to his groin.
I don’t even ask.
Kateri Von Steal
Wednesday, 3 August, 2011 at 10:06BWA-Hahahaha.
These were priceless.
I loved them all.
I sneak read blogs (and write my own) during work hours, and I try to be quiet about it.
The “Gene” one made me laugh and choke on my water… RrreeeEEEEaaaallll smooth.
Christina
Wednesday, 3 August, 2011 at 11:37Love it!
Mary
Wednesday, 3 August, 2011 at 15:52I love your blog! These had me literally LOL. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Stacey
Wednesday, 3 August, 2011 at 17:19I will never be able to hear the phrase “bald spot” again without snickering.
renegademama
Thursday, 11 August, 2011 at 10:26Indeed. It’s been happening to me ever since…”Bald spot.” Ha.
Not Blessed Mama
Thursday, 4 August, 2011 at 10:00bald spot? nice. we have many names for the groin area in this family. boys are so fun.
thanks for finding me on bloggy moms! i’m about to go follow you on twitter.
(and i’m thinking i’m going to have to join this stinking s30p, although i’m not relishing the idea of broadcasting tht i’m an old lady.)
renegademama
Thursday, 11 August, 2011 at 10:27Thanks! Followed your blog as well…and yes, boys are a real barrel of laughs. Rocket’s new song is “I love my underwear.” It doesn’t even make sense.
And I feel ya re: the 30+ writing club. I mean is that really necessary? Do we HAVE To publicize our ages. Whatever. There’s no brilliance before 30 anyway, right?
Or something. 🙂
Sarah
Sunday, 7 August, 2011 at 14:51Hilarious, love it!
Dora
Thursday, 11 August, 2011 at 16:59hi this is Dora, from Hungary, living in the Netherlands,
I was quite surprised to see your blog about how bad a mum you are when I typed in google “what to play with my kids” (because I was feeling guilty and ashamed for not having the patience, mood, time etc to play with them…)
so I read your blog on (not)playing monopoly with your kids, and I kept reading the others as well, couldn’t stop for a while and now I am even commenting, but I feel it is important to let you know that however weird or even scary (not the right word really, but it is 1.50 in the morning) it may feel for you to publish your inner thoughts on the net, for many of us that cannot put thoughts into words that easily it is a relief that you are actually doing it for us as well.
What I mean to say is: your notes did not make me feel less guilty, but certainly gave me a good laugh, and suddenly it feels a bit ridiculous to fret so much about my kids, I mean a hundred years ago mums were practically pregnant all their grown up lives (how else do you deliver 10-12 babies) and I don’t think they were playing with them at all, let alone worry about it.
And I do play with mine, only not always when they would like me to.
Anyway, this is getting a bit too long, keep on writing, don’t worry if you are writing your blog instead of playing with your kids sometimes 🙂 The mere fact that you have three kids shows that you at least want to be a good mum and that is a lot already.
Good luck and Bald Head,
Dora